Drabble: No woman wants a man with a tiny tool

[strangetomato]

Prompt: No woman wants a man with a tiny tool (a spam email headline I actually received today)
Characters: Ripp Grunt, Johnny Smith
Wordcount: 100
Imagecount: 0
Warnings: I think you know what to expect here.






Ripp opened his inbox.

No woman wants a man with a tiny tool, read the first message.

"Amen to that," Ripp said, as he clicked delete.

"You should mark it as spam," Johnny said, as he materialized over his shoulder. "Otherwise, they'll just keeping sending them."

"I should mark YOU as spam."

"Or is there a reason they target you with so many of those messages every day, hmm?"

"Maybe they heard I was recently entered into the Guinness Book of World Records, and they wanted to support me."

"Oh, do they have one for World's Most Deluded Man now?"



 

Comments

[dothesmustle.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I usually get Viagra spam messages. Apparently I randomly sprouted a penis with problems ~getting it up~ :(

[muslemura.livejournal.com]

Johnny/Ripp banter!! *swoons* And penis banter too - even better *snicker*

[sadieg79.livejournal.com]

LOL Love it :D That RJ banter never gets old - love the punchline :)

Heh, yeah, I keep getting ads for penis enlargement. Hmm... *looks down trousers* Erm, nope, nothing to enlarge down here, thanks :P

[smjoshsims.livejournal.com]

LOL, who was the e-mail from? That's ridiculously random. xD

And yes, Ripp is The Most Deluded Man, Johnny. didn't you get the memo e-mail? :P

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I seem to get those very oddly worded spam messages all the time. They never mention the product, but they do give some lovely maxim like the one above. It's not the first time I was entertained by them.

Ripp believes what he has to believe to survive, okay? :P Sexual prowess is very important to him.

[sadieg79.livejournal.com]

I do, too. It's amazing just how blunt those headlines can get - supposing it gets received by someone who really does have a problem, and already has a complex about it? Poor guys o_o

LOL Someone should tell him that size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that counts ;)

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

*snicker* I'm sure he knows that, and uses this to his advantage, but how can he accept that his most prized possession is inferior in any way? :P

[hannahspring.livejournal.com]

Holy shoot, you wouldn't belive how many of these my site gets a day! About 200 of spam comments, no kidding! Thanks for making a bit fun of this, it really made me laugh. :)

[traciandrus.livejournal.com]

lol that is soooooo Ripp ;)

[imsothenetgirl.livejournal.com]

I love "I should mark YOU as spam" and really wish I had the opportunity to use it in everyday life. So funny!

[simgarooop.livejournal.com]

LOL! I love the "I should mark YOU as spam" line. I wish there was a way to do that with some people :S.

I get a lot of Viagra spam too. "Herbal" and "Vegan" Viagra spam in particular, WTF?!

[tanathir.livejournal.com]

Adding my love to the "I should mark YOU as spam" line. Twisting phrases like that is funnier than the "your mom" jokes, imo, which I totally still laugh at.

[catladymeow.livejournal.com]

Gotta join the love of the line "I should mark YOU as spam"! That really made me laugh.
I also get that viagra spam, and it annoys me to see so many ads on tv for penis enlargement pills. Those ones for the new toy for women by Trojan also annoy me.

[80sfiend.livejournal.com]

LOL awesome punchline :)