Drabble: No woman wants a man with a tiny tool

[strangetomato]

Prompt: No woman wants a man with a tiny tool (a spam email headline I actually received today)
Characters: Ripp Grunt, Johnny Smith
Wordcount: 100
Imagecount: 0
Warnings: I think you know what to expect here.






Ripp opened his inbox.

No woman wants a man with a tiny tool, read the first message.

"Amen to that," Ripp said, as he clicked delete.

"You should mark it as spam," Johnny said, as he materialized over his shoulder. "Otherwise, they'll just keeping sending them."

"I should mark YOU as spam."

"Or is there a reason they target you with so many of those messages every day, hmm?"

"Maybe they heard I was recently entered into the Guinness Book of World Records, and they wanted to support me."

"Oh, do they have one for World's Most Deluded Man now?"



 

Comments

[smjoshsims.livejournal.com]

LOL, who was the e-mail from? That's ridiculously random. xD

And yes, Ripp is The Most Deluded Man, Johnny. didn't you get the memo e-mail? :P

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I seem to get those very oddly worded spam messages all the time. They never mention the product, but they do give some lovely maxim like the one above. It's not the first time I was entertained by them.

Ripp believes what he has to believe to survive, okay? :P Sexual prowess is very important to him.

[sadieg79.livejournal.com]

I do, too. It's amazing just how blunt those headlines can get - supposing it gets received by someone who really does have a problem, and already has a complex about it? Poor guys o_o

LOL Someone should tell him that size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that counts ;)

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

*snicker* I'm sure he knows that, and uses this to his advantage, but how can he accept that his most prized possession is inferior in any way? :P