Drabble+: Nightmare

[strangetomato]

There's nothing quite like breaking your own rules, is there? I'm contrary like that, so actually coming out and saying I'm not going to post much will obviously make me want to write something. So here it is... a drabble+.

Prompt: A character wakes from a nightmare in the middle of the night to the person they least want to see at that moment.
Characters: Tank Grunt (and others, but you'll have to read it to see)
Wordcount: 400
Warnings: language, violence




Then Johnny stopped moving. Tank held his neck in his hands, and Johnny looked back at him with lifeless eyes.

He was dead, and Tank had killed him.

Finally.

Goddamned alien piece of shit.

But why did he feel so empty?

Oh, god. He had killed him.

"Johnny... Johnny?!" Tank shook him. "Shit... I didn't mean it. Wake up, you asshole!"

Frantically, he tried to revive him, but it was too late.

Then Ripp was there, wailing. He fell onto the corpse in despair. "Johnny! You've killed him. You've killed my Johnny!"

"Stop it!" Tank yelled, "Stop crying!"

"You killed him. My brother... you killed my brother."

"I'M your brother."

Why, Ripp? Why him? Why not me?

"I hate you."

Had he said the words, or had Ripp?

Then he was choking him, pressing Ripp to the floor, and feeling the life go out of him too.

Why not me?

He was killing him.

He wanted to stop, but couldn't.

He tried to break out of it, but couldn't.

He tried to scream, but nothing came out.

"Tank?" Frances was on him, shaking him. "TANK!"

Tank still couldn't move or say anything. He couldn't even catch his breath. He could see the room around him, and Frances reaching down at him, but he couldn't move. Frances had his hands reaching out towards his neck, and he thought he must be trying to kill him too. He tried to yell, "Get the fuck off of me!" but nothing came out.

"Tank?! What's wrong with you? Stop it! Wake up! You're scaring me." Frances felt his panic rising, and the next thing he knew, he had slapped Tank squarely across the face. "WAKE UP!"

Tank woke up.

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Tank wanted to escape, to shove Frances aside and get out of there, but he felt a strange comfort in having him there too.

He didn't want to be comforted.

He didn't need it.

How much of that had Frances been able to witness? Had he cried out in his sleep? Dreams were blurring into reality, and he didn't want Frances to see that... to see what he had done. He didn't want Frances on his bed either.

"You... hit me."

"I'm sorry." Frances bit his quivering lip, and tried not to cry, but the panic and relief were too much for him.

"God... don't cry."



 

Comments

[franwi.livejournal.com]

Love the insight into Tank's hatred of Johnny. I didn't really consider he'd be jealousy over Johnny usurping his brotherly ties to Ripp. That was awesome. I also adored Frances "to the rescue" - and that last line had me laughing, because it's such a cute depiction of those two. I could totally imagine Tank groaning at having to calm Frances down now.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I see Tank's hatred of Johnny as having many layers to it. First of all, he's an alien... that's strike one. Their fathers hated each other... reason number two. Johnny's father humiliated his father, which makes him want to "right" that wrong, and he ends up being humiliated by Johnny too by getting his ass kicked. Then there's also the fact that Johnny is so popular and successful, and Ripp practically worships him. There seem to be so many good reasons to hate Johnny, if you're Tank. If I was Tank, I know I would.

Frances makes such an unlikely hero that I find myself being really enamored of the idea. (It will resurface one day in a more significant way, if I ever get there. *crosses fingers*) And yeah, I like that final scene too, with Tank uncomfortably trying to stop Frances from crying. He's come to accept that sort of thing from Frances, but it still embarrasses him.

[tanathir.livejournal.com]

There's something about the freedom of hiatus that makes the Muse charge itself and inspire the most stubborn of us. At any rate, it's exciting to see a new drabble. I really like the way you write Tank, how he doesn't say much but what he does say holds a lot more weight. He's definitely grown a lot as a character. I also like how Frances is gaining some courage of his own. Great job!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Or it's just the whole idea that pointing out something will make it happen (around here, one doesn't talk about the nice weather for fear it will rain... that sort of superstition is very familiar to me). I didn't want to leave people wondering what happened to me, but now speaking of it will probably make it a brief hiatus. I still don't see an update happening for a while, though. I'm thinking a couple of weeks, which isn't really that much of a break... but it is when you consider how often I used to update.

Thank you. I've always really loved that about Tank too. He seems like the type that doesn't let so much come to the surface, and his whole place in the story as the General's "good" son and growing up to find himself in the middle of all that with the military and the aliens, well it just has so much potential, don't you think? It seems a shame to me when people pull him out of that and turn him around too quickly. I think it would take a while for him to wash off the face paint... and even once it's gone, it would still linger on in his mind for much longer still.

[hannahspring.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Good to see you back, haha. :D I love you made Francis to cry, he's an angel.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

(I wasn't gone long, was I? *snicker* Hiatus... FAIL.)

[sadieg79.livejournal.com]

@tanathir: Ugh, tell me about it! Muses have the habit of tapping you on the shoulder just when you don't expect - or even want - it.

@ST: Very compelling, if a little confusing - unless it was meant to be. I'm curious about these drabbles though; looks like something I'd like to try, but I'm new to the whole idea of them. Where do the prompts/character ideas come from?

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It might be less confusing with images, since it does have that dream-like lack of structure. What was confusing about it? I'd like to know, so I might be able to improve it.

I did a post to request them. madame_ugly did it first, and she got the idea from laridian. It's great to have a prompt when you're feeling the effects of writer's block. I just posted and asked people to suggest prompts. There's a link to it on my sidebar (though few people have suggested anything since the first posting... re-requesting might bring some more, but I have plenty for now).

There are prompt lists all over the place, if you want to find a ready-made example. You could use some from the simstorytellers community. Just go there and find the drabble tag. Also, simfic50 offers prompts for sim writers, and challenges them to complete their 50 prompts with 50 short written pieces. It's on my to-do list for one of these days.

[tanathir.livejournal.com]

Muses are temperamental things not to be messed with. No wonder the ancients made demigods out of them.

I think I need one of those boards that lets you write in the shower, because the best lines of dialogue come to me when I'm in there.

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Lol. I finally go to comment on your hiatus and you aren't quite....hiatused. If you do end up disappearing for awhile though, it's cool. You deserve the break and I think we can all relate to burn out/real life stuff/etc. so no sweat. I'll be here when/if you get back.

In any case, I love this drabble. There's something about it that just feels very different from your normal writing. It's more charged with something.

Little things I loved:

"You've killed my Johnny!" The possessiveness of it. Even though it's Tank's dream, there's still something in that cry that drips with Ripp.

"You've killed my brother." And then it the whole reality of Johnny being more of a brother to Ripp then Tank and how it makes Tank feel inadequate. And then, even in his dream, Tank responds with anger.

Then Frances saves the day! Oh and it was lovely. How he wants the comfort that Frances gives off, because Frances is his first real friend and he appreciates that and needs that. I love that he also wants to push Frances away and he doesn't want Frances on his bed, because he's still got so many prejudices. And Frances hit him, and he's apologetic, but Tank's mostly in awe.

Also Frances crying paralleling with Ripp crying in the dream and just.... my heart!

So umm, basically I love this. Awesome job!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was a pretty lame hiatus, but I think this drabble might be a blip in an otherwise dry spell (I'm thinking I might get it back together by the end of the month, though, so it probably won't be a really long break). In all honesty, it's mostly the interaction on livejournal that has me burned out, as much as I do like it. Commenting and responding to everyone takes up so much time, and I feel bad for doing a half-assed job with it. It's definitely time for a bit of a break. I'll mostly be a lurker during this time.

Was it more emotionally charged? I'm not really surprised, since writing often reflects the head space of the writer. That definitely makes sense for this drabble, since I'm feeling a little emotional and intense right now. Hopefully, I'll be able to channel that into writing some of the emotional scenes that are coming up in the story.

Ripp refers to Johnny as being "his" in other chapters too (or is it just in things that are coming up... I'm not sure). Sometimes I think that Ripp tends to see Johnny as just an extension of himself (and maybe that's part of why he sees nothing wrong with the three of them being together). Perhaps it's a bit too much insight into Ripp for Tank's own dream, but I think that plays into Tank's fear of Ripp's allegiance to Johnny, and how he feels this coming between them.

That part where Ripp calls Johnny his brother is definitely Tank's own insecurity coming through, and he's frightened by the intensity of his anger there. Dreams where you end up killing someone or being killed are just terrible. I've have a couple of those myself, and they always involve very intense relationships.

Tank and Frances are definitely at an odd balance at this point in their relationship. There's still a great deal of uncomfortableness there, but they're actually relating better than they did before Frances came out to Tank, because Tank really is making an effort to accept him for what he is now, and they're more open about themselves.

Poor Tank... he's always surrounded by guys who want to shower him in their waterworks, and he's just appalled at the idea of a man crying.

Thank you. :)

[xel-squirgle-ox.livejournal.com]

Dude, that drabble request post really must be useful! So useful in fact, that I've decided to make one in my own journal.

Anyway, back to your entry. Everything beyondheroism__ said I would have said. :P

I must admit though, I was a bit shocked when it said in the beginning that Tank had killed Johnny and it took me a while to remember that the subject of the drabble was "nightmare".

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, why not? It's a great way to get the wheels turning. You can always use the simstorytellers drabble prompts too, if you need more.

*snicker* How convenient that she said it all for you. :) And thank you.

Yeah, there was no set-up in the beginning. I sort of just jumped right into the middle of the dream. Had you going for a minute, did I?

[smjoshsims.livejournal.com]

Wow, that drabble was intense. I don't think Tank would ever really kill Johnny, but you never know. I love how Frances was the one who saved him.

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

I don't think he'd ever do it purposely, but he's very strong, very angry and very hurt. In a lot of ways he's a bomb waiting to go off.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) There's so much I'd like to say about the likelihood of Tank ever killing Johnny, but I'll save it for now. I will say that there are many ways to murder a person, and they aren't all direct or intentional. ;)

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

I always get mad plot bunnies when I shouldn't be, too. :D

See, stuff like this is why I love Tank. He's just so sad and lost and awkward. But when he comes out the other side, when he's finally feeling safe and happy? It's the best. (I mean autonomously. Autonomous Tank in love is the best thing ever.)

I'm getting to far ahead of your story. He might not even get his happy ending. But I love how in your version, he's so recognizable to me. I mean... I haven't played with all your premade characters, but he's the one (of yours) I "know" the best. Does that make sense? And it's amazing, because they're lives are so different, but it's still essentially him. :D

[sadieg79.livejournal.com]

Completely agree. Tank's a very interesting character to work with, and he's already given me tons of ideas. I accidentally put him in the wrong room, but I find it interesting that, despite his macho outer shell, he's the one with the flower painting in his room.

I also love Ripp to pieces :D He's such a sad character when you start the game, all this stuff that he's had to put up with. I just wanna give him a big hug and tell him it'll be alright :(

Believe it or not though, I'm also thoroughly enjoying working with Buzz. That guy has so much potential despite his lack of nice points - no one's completely bad, after all, and I've had great fun diving into his mind :D

*is feeling strong urge to add drabble request post to her own journal*

[cindyanne1.livejournal.com]

I'm also wanting to put a drabble request in my journal! XD It's a trend, lol!


Tank's dream seemed to almost illustrate how out-of-control he feels at times, and his mixed and conflicted emotions. Like once you get past him and Johnny hating each other, they can actually become very good friends (similar interests and all of that... it's the same with Vidcund and Loki.) I've always thought he'd *rather* be friends with Johnny, but felt compelled to live up to what his dad wanted with all the alien-hating.

I love that Frances was the one who he woke up to. :D

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

DO IT! (the drabble request on your journal)

All the ~cool~ kids are doing it!

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

Briefest. Hiatus. Ever.

*snicker*

Maybe you just need to indulge in some text only offerings for a bit? You could use them to advance the main story, too (then you could get to the "fun stuff" instead of all the "have to write this first" crap).

Add me to the list of folks who enjoy your take on Tank. (it makes me wish you hadn't offed dear Buzz so soon, I bet you'd give him a great anaylsis, too).

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I know. *snicker* I seem to suck at hiatusing. If I wanted to actually take a break, I should have said I'd post every day. I just have to make a liar out of myself. The minute I acknowledge my lack of focus/interest, it comes back. It's always the way... (That, and I suspect I might be crazy.)

Yeah, it's an idea. I'm mostly just picking away at a number of different chapters and sections now, so I can't see any of them getting finished soon, but you never know. If a do a few more drabbles, and I could be bursting with inspiration.

Thanks. I have the same regret. I still think that killing him was the right thing to do (especially from Olive's side of the story), but I wish I could have done more with him. Now that you've mentioned it, I'm feeling like I'll slip a little flashback to when he met Lyla or something. It would be interesting to think about what he would have been like as a young, single guy.

Then there's his ghost, who just started haunting Nervous (Buzz was in an urn in a secret room, and not the cemetery, so he wasn't moved). That's one angry ghost. His anger thought cloud alternates between one of the dogs (who snarl in his direction), Tank, and the family sim icon (which is a little odd). His ghost will make an appearance in the story at some point.

[80sfiend.livejournal.com]

Wow. That really would be a really bad nightmare. :( And then waking up and having Frances comfort him...I really love getting more insight into Tank :) He's a quiet but complicated guy. :)

Good job on this as always, and feel free to break any rules you want! The more from you the better. (But of course have your break and rest and stuff too) Anyways, it's always fun for me to read your stuff. :)

[dothesmustle.livejournal.com]

Awwwww, Frances waking Tank up from the dream. I love their friendship. Frances the little cry baby and Mr. Macho Tank.

"God... don't cry."

That's something I would say, too. Sometimes I can relate to Tank, haha. I feel a little weird saying that. ..Yehp.

I've always felt bad for Tank, part of me thinks some of the reason he hates aliens so much, would be because he feels he lost his brother to Johnny. Ripp seems to make sure Tank knows he's second best to Johnny sometimes.

I love reading more into Ripp, he's such an interesting character. (Also, it doesn't hurt that Frances takes a big part in his life, whether Tank wants to admit it or not! :P)

[soniabigcheese.livejournal.com]

That was a very clever drabble there.... delving into the mind of Tank, usually so closed minded himself.

Poor Tank. His subconscious is eating away at him and invading his dreams. I can only guess that he feels like the outsider of the family, rather than be part of the whole family unit. Pride and duty have always forced Tank to keep a distance and now he's really starting to feel the chasm.
Wow, Frances... you were brave... if Tank hadn't been frozen with fear, he could have punched him and knocked him out cold. But bless, he's so sensitive, putting the usually hard nosed Tank in an awkward position when the tears start to flow.

[a-gates.livejournal.com]

Whoa I was totally blown away by that drabble!!! Feel free to go on your Hiatus any day now since I see this Nightmare drabbel kind of like a going away parting drabble. AWESOME JOB!

[themorganlegacy.livejournal.com]

I loved this. I'd figured that that was one of the reasons that Tank dislikes Johnny so much, but I'd never expected his subconscious to confront him with it all like that. (Though, being the Johnny/Ripp shipper that I am, I lol'd a little when dream!Ripp referred to Johnny as his brother.) And of course I loved Frances being the one to wake him there at the end, even if he didn't quite know how to handle the situation. I'm so glad that they're starting to patch things up, because their relationship is one of my favorites in this story (I ship them, too, but I do really love their friendship) and I really want to see more of it, especially now that Frances is out.

[hannahspring.livejournal.com]

OK, this was first scary but the "oh please don't cry" sentence made my laugh very hard! LOL