Strangetown, HWC Letters to Santa: Ripp Grunt

[strangetomato]

Hey, look - it's a stormy night at home, so I actually did another one of these letters. I'm not sure if I'll do many more of them, but I'd like to do at least a couple of others (like Frances), so we'll see.








"Ripp, did you do the laundry?"

"What laundry?"

"Oh, I don't know... that HUGE pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom? THAT laundry?"

"Oh... that. Right."

"Well?"

"Well, it's still there isn't it?"

"Don't you ever feel dirty?"

"All the time."

"Very funny. You know I meant dirty as in covered in filth."

"Who's covered in filth?"

"When was the last time you washed your jeans?"

"They're not dirty yet. They smell fine... there's no 'dirt' on them."

"Okay, well there's no way you have any clean underwear left. There has to be about 30 pairs of boxers up in the hamper."

"Well, you've got me there."




"Gross."

"Not really. I went commando. The boys are swinging wild and free."

"Oh, then God help us all."

"Do you really need me to take your panties down to be washed right this second? I'm sort of in the middle of something here."

"No, don't strain yourself! Heaven forbid you do any work. I'll just do it myself."

"Thanks, John. You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah. Just do the dishes."

"You got it, partner."

At the laundromat, Johnny was grumbling his way through his sorting when he found something in one of the pockets. Ripp always left piles of crap in his pockets, despite Johnny's repeated tutorials on why this was a bad idea, so this naturally enraged him. Then he paused. It wasn't in Ripp's pants at all. The tiny folded note had been found in Ophelia's pocket.

He unfolded it, and began to read it.






Phi,

You wanted to know what I wanted for Xmas so this is it. All I want for Xmas is YOU.

You without clothes.

Or you could wear something nice and then I'll unwrap you. Then I'll give you your gift from me. I think you'll like it. I'll even wrap it up myself... unless you really want to do it. Wink wink.

I'll be egerly waiting,
Ripp








 

Comments

[simgarooop.livejournal.com]

LOL! I can clearly imagine Johnny raising his eyebrow at Ripp's generous Christmas offer for Ophelia :S (the last picture is very funny!).

And ugh... I'm always worried about having clean underwear. My mother often says that people often underestimate the importance of clean underwear. What if you had an accident?! :P

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll bet he did too. I was pretty happy with that last photo. They fit together well, and it came out just as silly as I hoped it would.

My mother liked to mention that possibility of an accident too. I doubt the doctors would really worry about it, but she's a nurse so maybe she hears comments? :P I don't know. I wear clean underwear anyway, though I admit to being an infrequent jean washer, like Ripp here. I never understood why people would wash them after every use, even when they're clearly still clean.

[penelopethefox.livejournal.com]

I feel so terrible for Johnny. What a way to find out that your best friend is banging your girlfriend.

But yeah, Ripp is a huge crack-up. I'm shocked that he wears underwear frequently enough to accumulate a pile.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but is there really a good way? Depends on the lead-up, I guess. This isn't really how he finds out in the story. These Santa letters are a little fantastical, though they're still based on the story.

Well, I'm sure he takes them off and puts them back on many times in the run of a day, but he does start out wearing them. I'm sure that going commando in jeans is pretty rough on guys, or so I've been told. I've only known one guy in my life who basically never wore underwear. I think they generally like to have something to keep all their tackle in check.

[zepheera.livejournal.com]

*snort* tackle....

[catladymeow.livejournal.com]

I liked this one. Johnny is so used to Ripp's ways by now he just gives up and does what he wants Ripp to do himself. I guess the lounging on the couch was more important than doing the laundry.

I would have liked to have seen Johnny's reaction to reading the letter. I bet it would have been poingnant (sp)

That last picture was funny. I am sorry you are not doing all the letters one each day like you set out to do, but I guess I can see why you are not. Looking forward to the next one.

[muslemura.livejournal.com]

Loved the last picture :D Loved the Ripp/Johnny dialogue, as always. Love to imagine Johnny's face and reaction - can't be easy being him even though he knew where this was going.

[hannahspring.livejournal.com]

Poor, poor Johnny. If I were him, I'd go and kill Ripp right ahead. :(

[vega-pleiades.livejournal.com]

You were right about IrfanView and screenshots - this is pretty freaking awesome!

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

So I'm guessing Ripp'll have a nice shiner the next time we see him?

[dothesmustle.livejournal.com]

Who knew Ripp was into Mariah Carey? XD

[80sfiend.livejournal.com]

This was a good one :) I've been waiting for his :) I really am glad this isn't how Johnny really finds out, but then I can't really think of any way that would be good. :(

[pnkpnthr334.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's great!!! I love Ripp. :)