Short story: A message from Johnny Smith

[strangetomato]

I was doing a little work on the next chapter, and then this short little thing jumped into my head, so I just churned it out. Full disclosure (and possibly too much information): I thought of it while having to unclog the toilet. Isn't it nice to have sims there to occupy your mind while dealing with the more unpleasant necessities of life? Anyway, Johnny feels my pain. I can always feel better knowing that Johnny is there to arch a brow on my behalf.











It's been brought to my attention that some of you think of me as a rather uptight guy.

This is not entirely true.








Now, I'll be the first to admit that I can be very exacting, and even a bit of a perfectionist, but I'm not a total drag.




I'm pretty easygoing, really. It's just that, more often than not, you see me when I'm irritated.




Some people are just hard to live with, inciting rage in the nicest of people.

No, I'm not pointing any fingers. Really, I'm not.




Ripp?

Now, I didn't say that, did I?




Anyway... some people like to leave the bathroom in an unholy mess.




This doesn't bother me. Not at all.




I really don't mind cleaning the bathroom.




I mean, who doesn't like scrubbing the toilet, right?

Some people also like to announce the details of their bathroom usage, even though this may be viewed as too much information by others.




"If you need me, I'll be taking a dump."




"Gotta go take a smash."




"I'm going to go drop the kids off at the pool."




"Looks like it's time to rock the porcelain again."

Those things are always very useful to know.






These same people NEVER seem to flush the toilet properly, and it often ends up clogged.

Do they offer to unclog it? No.

Do they bitch and whine when I suggest that they do it? Of course they do.




Some people always seem to have an excuse, like my personal favourite: the sore wrist.

I can think of a suggestion or two to help prevent that one, if you get my meaning.




In fact, that's a whole other complaint about cleaning the shower, right there.




These same people often protest, "How do you know that it was me?"

I don't think I need to explain that one, right? Despite what some people may think, I do not have amnesia.




And another thing...

Some people have a knack for breaking everything they touch.

Again, I'm not referring to anyone in particular here.




Some people also like to sing and whistle annoying songs.

They like to do it loudly.




They like to do it a lot.




I don't think I'm being that unreasonable, am I? Surely, anyone would find that annoying.

So, you see what I have to put up with, and why I may sometimes seem like the world's biggest killjoy. This stuff just gets irritating in large does, and someone has to stay sensible and make sure the house doesn't fall apart, right?

So why do I put up with it at all?

That's a really good question.












I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.







 

Comments

[hidden-kitten.livejournal.com]

This made me lol. And also this, because he's so prissy.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm loving those expressions on Johnny too. They just seem like they were meant for his face (and his personality).

[franwi.livejournal.com]

I always think about the sims when I'm scrubbing a toilet. They make it look so easy - damn them! I do hope your plunging experience was a bit nicer than the game version, though, and didn't shower your face. ;)

Oh Johnny, I feel for you! And now I completely understand! Especially after taking a look at that unholy mess of a bathroom. He puts up with a lot, doesn't he? *gives him a medal*

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Ugh. No, it didn't shower in my face, as such, but it was a harrowing experience all the same. Fun times all around.

Yeah, Ripp really does leave a mess like that in his wake. Most of the times I've had counters and things getting messy in scenes, they just happened naturally, because Ripp was using them. I just leave them in for the story, since it does make sense.

Poor Johnny. *snicker* The real truth of the matter is that none of them are really neat, though. Johnny might have 4 for neat, and I think Phi has 3. Ripp, the little darling, has only 1 point, so he wins. At least Johnny and Phi are sloppy enough to be able to eat with Ripp and not get grossed out.

[music-simbol.livejournal.com]

Awww, this was so cute!!! You were unclogging the toilet, apparently Johnny does it a lot, so it makes sense this would come to you. :P

Also, this is the BEST PICTURE OF JOHNNY EVER!!!! I literally laughed out loud!! SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!! A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Isn't that a good face? It's one of the goofy photobooth faces. I knew the arched brow was in there somewhere, but when I saw that one, I couldn't resist. I like it because he seems a little playful about it, even though he's still outraged. :P

Odd Couple

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Is Johnny's middle name Felix, by chance?

What about Ripp? Is he Ripp Oscar Grunt?

You should download a cigar for Ripp to chomp on to add to the fun of it all (oh, and he needs to wear the grubby pjs).

And why do I get the feeling Ripp is one of those types who likes to sigh VERY LOUDLY while peeing? (tmi alert, my wife does this to irritate me, so nasty)

Re: Odd Couple

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you called it. *snicker*

I wonder if I could find a cigar somewhere? I remember seeing cigarettes (which I actually considered using at one point, but decided against it), but never cigars. That could be so good for a little comedy scene.

Yeah, I'm seeing that loud, long sigh. That's one of those "do it just to annoy you" things, and it would fit here. (Yeah, I get that sometimes too. I get the announcements too. We're pretty tmi like that around here.)

Re: Odd Couple

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

I'd almost bet there has to be a cigar somewhere, what with there being so many versions of Wolverine out there!

*snicker* My wife's tmi too. I get "I gotta crap." a lot. Or another favorite is "I feel poopish."

[abbycat900.livejournal.com]

Awh! I've always loved Johnny. I'd pay him if he cleaned up after me!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Johnny appreciates your financial donations. :) College kids are usually pretty desperate for funds. (Though, with gameplay as it is, these guys are actually rolling in dough.)

[abbycat900.livejournal.com]

Hey, tell him he's not getting a sent until my bathroom no longer smells like my cat! xD

[abbycat900.livejournal.com]

That was of course supposed to be 'cent' not 'sent'... -is blaiming stupidity on being very tired, and not used to the new keyboard of her new shiny computer-

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Oooh, shiny new computer! That's exciting.

Don't worry. I make typos like that ALL the time. My worst offender is typing "from" as "form". I do that almost every time.

Do you keep your litter box in the bathroom too (well, your cat's litter box, that is *snicker*)? Smelly little creatures...

[abbycat900.livejournal.com]

It is! Except no sims on it yet, which is a shame because -squee- RAM GALORE!

Yes, I do that too. Most of my typos tend to be confusing my characters names. I have a fondness for naming all my characters with the letter 'E'. Okay, not all of them, but alot of them. But most of the time my roleplay buddies know who I'm talking about xD

Actually, the cats box is in my room, and yet it never stinks! The bathroom, however, smells like cat. All the time. All, all, all the time. Unless I have a genius cat who uses our toilet? As for the smelly little creatures comment- we can tell which cat is which (they're almost identical- two black cats- by what they smell like. Felix smells like food, Hatchi smells like butt. Sadly.

[amaryssobellus.livejournal.com]

I still think that Johnny's a big priss. :P

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Not convinced, huh? *snicker*

[simgarooop.livejournal.com]

I've never thought that Johnny is uptight, to be honest.

Perhaps because I'm almost as bad as he is, and I live with a sister whose second name should be "Mess". I don't know how my mother (who'd be a 11 neat point sim if she were one, and no, that number is not a typo) didn't lose her mind when we were little.

Well, at least my sis never says those lovely phrases out loud when going to the bathroom. Yikes! That's so tacky, Ripp! :S

I love Johnny's face when Ripp is whistling. Man, he's really the master of arched eyebrows! :D.

Lovely story, I enjoyed it a lot!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I think it's just easy to seem uptight next to Ripp, who's about as loose as you can get. :P

I base a lot of Johnny's behavior on a very close friend of mine (I would say my "best friend", if I were forced to rate my friends), and he's way worse than that. He once washed my coffee mug while I was using his bathroom, and I wasn't even finished drinking the coffee (it was still half full). He's always really overworked too... yeah, he's really lending a lot of his traits to Johnny here.

I hear those bathroom phrases way too much. *snicker* I spend a lot of time around guys, so I hear it all, really. I really laughed the first time I heard "rock the porcelain" - it makes it sound so active (like you'd really break a sweat while doing it *snicker*).

Johnny does do a nice arched brow, doesn't he? I'm really loving that whistling animation for Ripp too. Free Time has a lot of gems like that.

Thanks. :)

[xel-squirgle-ox.livejournal.com]

This had me laughing till I cried! XD
Johnny's faces are PRICELESS and I just love all of Ripp's different wordings for "I have to go take a shit". Come to think of it, my brother and I have a similar relationship when it comes to our habits like this. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Really? That's great. I was hoping I'd get a laugh out of it. Those creative wordings always make me laugh too, and just the fact that Ripp feels the need to tell Johnny every time. :P How can you not love a friend when you know every detail about his inner biological workings?

I have a lot of tmi friends like that, so I find it sort of endearing.

[smjoshsims.livejournal.com]

This was really funny! I love ALL of his expressions, Johnny is such an awesome character. :D

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks. :) I'm glad you think so.

[cindyanne1.livejournal.com]

I may be remembering wrong, but isn't Johnny on the sloppy side too? I honestly can't remember... I know he's a gemini, but that doesn't tell me much. :P I also know he's not a complete neat-freak. Maybe in the middle?

Still I can see him as being a bit uptight, lol. Just because he seems to me to be one that likes to be in control of things. But I love him though. He's the very first Maxis sim I ever played. ;)

I always think of the sims when it comes to diaper changing. My selfsim has it too easy... no wiping, no poo-up-the-back, and no little snaps to try to re-do around thrashing little legs. Just whoop-se-daisy! New diaper! Whee!

Sims also should have to vaccuum. I'm just sayin'!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Johnny's actually a bit of a slob too. They all are, but Johnny is just on the sloppy side... maybe a 4. He's not really a neat freak, as such, but I'm mostly getting this Type A thing from his active, serious leanings. That, and he just comes off like that, overall. I can't explain why. That's just that way this Johnny went.

Him being a Gemini tells you very little, actually, since all three of them have zodiac signs that do not match their personalities if you try to recreate them in CAS. (And I wonder if that was changed in Nightlife, to make them have better chemistry.)

Oh, are you one of those people who'd like to see them have to do laundry too? *arches brow* It would be a nice detail for storytelling, but I think it would be annoying to have to play it with too many chores (I'm sure I'd just hire a maid, though).

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Actually... scratch that. Johnny isn't even really active. He has a five in that category. I took the sporty, active thing from his LTW - to be a Hall of Famer.

[pixelcurious.livejournal.com]

Oh, are you one of those people who'd like to see them have to do laundry too?

Or the people who want female sims to get their period? [insert Johnny Smith raised eyebrow here]

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Considering how odd the passage of sim time works, with a day being a year, they'd have to get their period for a couple of minutes every other hour. o_O

I have to admit that I wouldn't be opposed to breastfeeding of some sort in the game, though. They do have breasts, afterall...

[pixelcurious.livejournal.com]

It would certainly save them the trip to the fridge for a bottle. Instead, they could just grab the kid and give them the tit.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds good. Anything to make those feedings more convenient is a GOOD thing. (And the males could do it too. Why not? They were mpreg, afterall. :P)

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Finally - we have MOAR Johnny!!!

I love how it kind of seems to go faster and more desperate as the little story goes on. And Johnny's faces are the best!

I also love that after all the things Ripp does to annoy Johnny, they're still the best of friends. And lol at Johnny's INTENSE WORKOUT in the beginning. He's such a drama queen.

I loved this!

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd appreciate this extra helping of MOAR Johnny.

Johnny's trying to stay calm and pass it off like he really doesn't care, but he can't hide his mounting irritation. :P

I laughed at that ~intense~ workout too. Johnny is hardcore about health and fitness, don't you know. ;) That's one thing that he does have in common with Tank (there are a number of things, really... not that they'd like to acknowledge that fact).

Yes, drama queen (that's right, Johnny - it's queen, not king, so deal with it) is a word that I often think of in relation to Johnny. Well, he IS a theatre major, right?

Thanks. :)

[simfulacts.livejournal.com]

I loved that "bust a nut" shot of Johnny. Jolly good ROFL time there!

"Gotta drop the Cosby's off at the pool" was the version I always would hear. :P

Tee hee.

"Poop."

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Johnny Smith says: If you insist on busting a nut while in the shower, you must comply with a strict "hide the evidence" policy.

Ripp's not following THE RULEZ. :P (So his punishment is The Brow.)

I've heard that version too. I'd heard them all, I'm afraid.

Poop. *snicker* Such a great word.

[pixelcurious.livejournal.com]

L-O-effing-L! Especially the one pic. The "I have a suggestion or two" one. That's fucking classic. XD

I'd never heard "take a smash" before. I love learning new slang. And I hadn't heard "drop the kids off at the pool" in a long time... it cracked me up bad. :D

Heehee *goes back to read it again*

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Isn't that a great facial expression? I'm really loving that photobooth poses animation box. So useful for stuff like this. XD

Bringing new poop slang to the masses, that's me. I'm so proud. :P

[indigoleo.livejournal.com]

I was reading this at work and trying not to laugh. that was very hard to do.
Johnny's faces, as always, are the best. He looks like he's going to turn around and slap someone if they don't stop whistling in his ear. :D
And I just love the picture of Ripp...the one with the "sore wrist". LOL! If my wrist looked anything like his does there, I'd be complaining also!
Ripp constantly telling Johnny he's off to take a dump sort of reminds me of my ex-husband. Definitely TMI. Not only would he tell me what he was about to do I sometimes got a play-by-play description of everything. Way more then I ever needed to know or wanted to know.

[simsbarbie.livejournal.com]

Awwesome pictures and very funny. I also never heard of "taking a smash." I'll use it on my husband one day. LOL

[dragancaor.livejournal.com]

Ripp's informative comments were priceless. Seriously priceless.
& this pic of johnny was just damn perfect.

It's funny when & where you think of things =P

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

That's probably the best Johnny face in the history of Johnny faces!

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

Ok, I seriously said, "oh jesus god!" at this because I thought they were going to kiss and my eyes went THIS BIG.

O_O

Poor Johnny. You're still uptight, man. Why don't you sucker freshmen into cleaning for you? Heck, why doesn't Ripp?

Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, will I ever "get" you? I fear not. But you're still way fun to have around.

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, didn't Ripp shag a maid?

Come one, man, get her to scrub the skiddies out of the commode.

[x-illegal-x.livejournal.com]

I never realized how adorable Johnny looks. Those expressions are priceless.

[treesahquiche.livejournal.com]

Aw, this is so adorable. The end made me all wibbly.

[80sfiend.livejournal.com]

LMAO Oh Johnny, we DO know how hard it is to live with Ripp. You're forgiven for SOME of the prissy/killjoy things you say. :)

[catladymeow.livejournal.com]

lol, this reminds me of when a friend online said he had to go drop the kids off at the pool and my response was I did not know you had kids. Someone else had to explain to me what that meant. It made me lol then too.