strangetomato | Short story: Strange Bedfellows

Here's something a little different. This (very) short story was inspired by the Kitchen and Bath Interior Design Stuff Pack. I entered one of the lots that is included with the SP, the Romantic Retreat, to test out some of the new content, and this story idea just jumped into my brain. It can be considered to be a part of the story world of Strangetown, here we come.

“Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows." - Trinculo, in The Tempest by William Shakespeare

Warnings: suggested sexual situations.

Johnny Smith woke up in an unfamiliar bed.

He had no idea where he was. The house wasn't familiar. There was someone next to him. His head hurt. He was completely naked. Somewhat apprehensively, he peered over to see who the other person was.

Ophelia. Of course. It was Ophelia.

He had no idea why they were in this strange house, in this strange bed, but he decided not to question it. His brain was still cloudy. He'd give it some time. He got up, grabbed the robe that was conveniently located next to the bed, and started to wander around the room.

"Johnny?" She stirred from her sleep.

"Good morning, Phi."

"Good morning." She smiled at him. "How do you feel? Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah, I suppose I did." He had no idea, but he didn't see any reason to say no.

"I'm going to head to the bathroom for a quick dip in the tub. Why don't you go check on breakfast? See how that's coming along..."

What an odd way of saying it, he thought, but he didn't think too much of it. "Okay. I'll go get right on that." He walked out to where the kitchen would have to be.

Much to his surprise, Ripp was already there, getting started on breakfast.

"Coffee, John?" He presented a coffee mug, suspended between his fingers.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you in my house?" At least he thought it might be his house. "This house." He added it, just in case.

Ripp paused, with an amused look on his face. "Are you joking? You're kidding, right?"

"No, really... why are you here?"

"Well, Johnny. I live here."

Johnny thought about it, and it suddenly became clear. Of course. Ripp lived with them. He always had. Why would it be any different here, in this new house?

"God, Johnny. I thought I was forgetful, but you're something else. Must have been one hell of a night."

He juggled the coffee mugs. "Well, I should know, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you kidding me? I think you'd remember something like that. I know I would. You're just fucking around with me, aren't you?"

"No. I don't know what you're talking about. What should I remember?"

"Oh, I don't know. What do you think?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you."

"You have absolutely no imagination, do you, Johnny?" He shook his head, and laughed. "Even if you really didn't remember, any fool could put it together. I'm here in a robe, as naked as a jaybird underneath it, and so are you. There's a beautiful, satisfied woman, in a king sized bed, and you can't fucking piece that together?"

"How am I supposed to know that you're not wearing any clothes under that?"

"You want proof? I could show you..."

"Ummm, I don't think that'll be necessary."

"It's not like you haven't seen it already, John. Though I guess you probably forget what it looks like, huh? You seem to forget an awful lot."

Johnny just stood there.

Ripp proceeded to make coffee.

"It's not like you to have such a raging case of the stupids. That's more like something I would fucking do. I guess you must have had one too many. You never could hold your liquor. No worries. We'll just get you some coffee and you'll be fine."

That explained his headache, at least.

"Is Phi awake yet?"

"Yeah. She's taking a bath."

"Will she be joining us after that?"

"I assume so."

"Coffee's ready. It's not great, but I'm getting the hang of it. Bet you never expected to see me making coffee like I had half a fucking clue, right? I'm just full of surprises."

He placed the coffee in front of Johnny, who took a sip, and realized that it really wasn't half bad.

"Like you," Ripp continued, "I never would have guessed that you were so... enthusiastic. You're such a buttoned up guy, by day. It just goes to show that you never can tell for sure, I guess."

Johnny remained silent, and drank his coffee.

"It's funny, you know. I hate team sports. Sports of any kind, really. And it's not something I ever felt the need to have help with, but I was totally missing the point. Everything works so much better when you work as a team. It's the secret to completely pleasing a woman. Twice as much of everything. I mean, what guy hasn't wished that he had two -"

"The coffee is good." Johnny said.

Ripp smiled widely.

"Everything is good."

"Good morning," Ophelia said, as she entered the room. "I see that you've started without me."

"Well, you can jump in at any time," Ripp said.

She just smiled.

"We were hoping you'd join us." He paused, took a sip of coffee, and added, "As always."

Johnny watched as Ripp stepped towards Ophelia, and wrapped his arms around her, inching his mouth ever closer to hers.

Johnny felt his body go cold, and then hot. He felt like he was falling through space.

Then he hit the ground, or what felt like it, and woke up.

Just a dream. Of course. Mental garbage, that's what dreams were. Johnny didn't give them much second thought.

This one had been a little weirder than usual, but that was nothing to worry about, was it? Dreams weren't real.

He went to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face, and then went downstairs.