Again with the gender thing...

[strangetomato]

Gender is weird, huh?

I've noticed that people on lj (and other places online, I assume) tend to make something of an issue out of people getting their gender wrong. Someone made a secret about me at one point, saying that they always thought I was a guy, and I wonder how they thought I was going to react to that. I don't really care. If anything, I think it's nice to be anonymously without gender on the internet, and I usually don't select a gender when given the option in profiles and such. If people don't know, then you don't have any of the baggage that comes with it. It's the same reason I use SO instead of husband. Husband feels like such a loaded term to me.

I see people rushing to correct people when they get the gender of a simmer wrong, whether it's themselves or someone else. I notice, too, that it's always males. That's not surprising. It makes sense, given the predominantly female nature of the sims fandom (and fandom in general). We're going to assume y'all have ovaries unless we're told the difference. But why is it so important to correct people?

I was curious about it, so I thought I'd ask (rather than make a simsecret or some such nonsense). For those of you that have done it (and I know a number of people on my flist that have), why do you feel the need to inform people that you or someone else is a male? Note that I'm not here to pick a fight or anything of the sort. I'd just like to hear your side of it.

(Oh, and... for the record, fanseelamb is a female. :P This one seems to come up over and over again.)

And another thing...

I've always been one of those people that tries to be conscious of the gendered messages I give to children in the way I talk to them, like not telling girl's they're "pretty" while telling boys they're "smart" and crap like that (which people do ALL of the time, if you listen to them), but then I noticed I was treating Petey (my first male cat) in a distinctly different way than his big "sister," Suki. How much of that is personality, and how much of that is me projecting? (He's a total Momma's boy, by the way. :P) It's crazy how we slip into these things. The cats are both spayed/neutered, so it's not like they even have any sex-based behaviours to speak of. And they're cats! Do they even have gender?

What do you think? Have any thoughts or interesting stories to share?

Comments

[naughtydolphin.livejournal.com]

On LJ, I tend to assume everyone is female and blonde until shown otherwise. I don't know why, but it's just this default setting I have, and I get surprised when I find out someone isn't blonde. Not in a "dumb blonde" type of way, either. I really don't know what's up with that. LJ has more female users than male (as shown on their stats page), and the sims is often considered a "girly" game, so it's not a far reach to expect that the majority of simmers on LJ will be female.

I guess I like to know things about people, so knowing if they're male or female just helps fill in the blanks. Like, I'm confused about Jenfold. I've seen many people say "LOL Jenfold is male, duh" and just as many say "LOL Jenfold is female, duh", that I kinda just want to know to know? I don't treat anyone differently based on that information, but it's just basic curiosity.

I suppose that in the LJ simmers world, the male player isn't as common, so maybe people just want them to know that? It's like how the majority of LJers are American. People tend to assume you're American unless you've told them otherwise. I'm Australian, and that means my world view and experiences are different, and I like people to know that I'm Australian, not American. Back in my earlier LJ days, I honestly used to be too gung ho about it, but I've definitely chilled there. I guess it's all just part of how we identify ourselves, and whether or not our sex or gender is a big part of that.

/ramble

[simsinthecity.livejournal.com]

I've actually once been PM'd by someone asking me why I play a "girls game." Needless to say, that person was soundly told off, and she hasn't spoken to me since.

[naughtydolphin.livejournal.com]

Wow. They deserved a telling off!

[simsinthecity.livejournal.com]

She'd also been asking me a lot of other questions that I didn't want to answer. My age, what Insim does (and I don't use Insim!), what's all in OFB, what's a plumbbob ... my frustration built up and then exploded all at once.

[naughtydolphin.livejournal.com]

Holy shit. what's a plumbbob?? lol

[simsinthecity.livejournal.com]

I might have referred to plumbbobs in an early response, so it wasn't completely random. She also refused to go to a comm and ask these questions because she claimed she didn't speak English well. Even though I understood her just fine >.>

[naughtydolphin.livejournal.com]

That's just so bizarre.