strangetomato | Drabble+: Condom Commercial

Prompt: Ripp is asked to star in a condom commercial
Characters: Ripp Grunt and Ophelia Nigmos
Wordcount: 234
Imagecount: 14
Warnings: sexually suggestive

Happy Valentines Day! I recieved this drabble prompt just yesterday, and it seemed timely, so here's a little commercial for you.

Hey, there! I'm Ripp Grunt, of The Shifting Paradymes.

I'm here today to talk to you about Woohoo brand condoms.

When you're a rock star and sex god like I am, you need a foolproof strategy for avoiding unwanted "surprises."

Do you have any idea how many kids I could have by now if I wasn't careful?

A LOT.

And just between you and me, I've even done a couple of things that could have gotten ME pregnant! Not cool.

That's why I'm a firm — no, rock hard — believer in using protection. And when it counts, I put my trust in Woohoo condoms.

Woohoo brand is reliable, take it from me! I've done extensive testing, and they have yet to fail me. Oh, some of the things I've done... and they never break! And they come in so many different varieties: flavoured, ultra-thin, glow in the dark, or my personal favourite, ribbed for her pleasure.

Don't leave home without 'em, kids!

I always take a dozen or so with me, wherever I go, especially when I'm out and about. You never know when you might need them.

And getting caught without... well, that's no fun!

The boy scouts were right. It pays to be prepared.

This Valentines Day, give 'em what they really want, but wrap it well! It's the little details that count, and you can't go wrong with Woohoo brand condoms.