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strangetomatoGiven that this Sunday, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia, it's interesting that I was recently called out for being heterosexist. To my face, by a lesbian. I was pretty embarrassed. (Not that it would be any better to have this pointed out in another way, but I felt pretty careless.)
I had designed a quick little poster for a community Seniors Appreciation Day event, and all of the clip art used on it (yeah, go ahead and laugh at the clip art, but my job isn't as a designer - there's no time or money to make it nicer) featured elderly male/female couples.
In my defense, I was lucky to find anything that showed seniors being happy and doing anything besides sitting on a couch at home (no joke - many of them actually featured graveyards). We wanted dancing and eating and having fun AND elderly people, and I barely found that. There's literally nothing that tackles ageism AND heterosexism. It seems like you can only tackle one of these issues at a time (though there was a little racial diversity in there, I'll give them that much).
It's amazing how easy it is to be heterosexist. Unlike homophobia, you do it by default, by doing nothing. I like to think I'm pretty good about this stuff, because I actually think about it most of the time and even point it out to other people when they say something that assumes the world to be straight (you get mixed results when you suggest that someone's baby might actually grow up to be gay, let me warn you, true though it may be). So if I can do it by accident, then you can too. If you're constantly vigilant about it, then I salute you, but it can be tough to get it right all the time.
To relate this back to sims, it's got me to thinking about portrayals of LGBT characters in sim stories, just like any other media. I've read some interesting articles and posts on this topic recently (relating to different fandoms, but same difference), and it really is worth considering. I try to write about characters first and foremost, and so they have flaws and make bad decisions and all that, but I do try to be conscious of the messages my stories are sending, whether intended or not.
As for homophobia, I did make a very conscious decision to include that in my sim world, as much as I love the idea of a world without it. My sim world simulates the world I live in, and that includes most of its problems too. Also, there's no way to examine something if you ignore its existence, and I'm very interested in exploring gender/sexuality in my characters. It's something of a theme in my story, I suppose, if you want to put that much weight on it (which is probably a bit of a stretch).
So how do you feel about this as a creator or reader of sim stories? Feel free to discuss it in the comments, if you like.
Also, go ahead and critique the way I do things in relation to this topic, if you want to, so I can further consider and examine them. I know I could always fall back on "it's just a sim story," but I don't actually believe that excuses me in any way. I'm putting content out into the world, so I'm engaging in the way things are portrayed, even though it's a small and very specialized audience.
I had designed a quick little poster for a community Seniors Appreciation Day event, and all of the clip art used on it (yeah, go ahead and laugh at the clip art, but my job isn't as a designer - there's no time or money to make it nicer) featured elderly male/female couples.
In my defense, I was lucky to find anything that showed seniors being happy and doing anything besides sitting on a couch at home (no joke - many of them actually featured graveyards). We wanted dancing and eating and having fun AND elderly people, and I barely found that. There's literally nothing that tackles ageism AND heterosexism. It seems like you can only tackle one of these issues at a time (though there was a little racial diversity in there, I'll give them that much).
It's amazing how easy it is to be heterosexist. Unlike homophobia, you do it by default, by doing nothing. I like to think I'm pretty good about this stuff, because I actually think about it most of the time and even point it out to other people when they say something that assumes the world to be straight (you get mixed results when you suggest that someone's baby might actually grow up to be gay, let me warn you, true though it may be). So if I can do it by accident, then you can too. If you're constantly vigilant about it, then I salute you, but it can be tough to get it right all the time.
To relate this back to sims, it's got me to thinking about portrayals of LGBT characters in sim stories, just like any other media. I've read some interesting articles and posts on this topic recently (relating to different fandoms, but same difference), and it really is worth considering. I try to write about characters first and foremost, and so they have flaws and make bad decisions and all that, but I do try to be conscious of the messages my stories are sending, whether intended or not.
As for homophobia, I did make a very conscious decision to include that in my sim world, as much as I love the idea of a world without it. My sim world simulates the world I live in, and that includes most of its problems too. Also, there's no way to examine something if you ignore its existence, and I'm very interested in exploring gender/sexuality in my characters. It's something of a theme in my story, I suppose, if you want to put that much weight on it (which is probably a bit of a stretch).
So how do you feel about this as a creator or reader of sim stories? Feel free to discuss it in the comments, if you like.
Also, go ahead and critique the way I do things in relation to this topic, if you want to, so I can further consider and examine them. I know I could always fall back on "it's just a sim story," but I don't actually believe that excuses me in any way. I'm putting content out into the world, so I'm engaging in the way things are portrayed, even though it's a small and very specialized audience.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 05:06 pm (UTC)Expecting people to go out of their way to make sure that everything they do depicts some percentage of (insert minority here) is just overwhelming PC bullshit. That's doubly true when it comes to a situation wherein the person in question is working with someone else's source material. If anyone out there is 'heterosexist' (and how I hate that term, let me tell you), it's the makers of the clip art...
...but like it or not, heterosexuality is the norm. That's what you call it when a large majority is one way and not the other. And that means that if you're depicting a small group or working with other people's source material or doing something on the fly, it's quite likely that you just aren't going to get a diverse group for that particular depiction.
If it were a pattern in someone's behavior (always white always straight always pretty whatever) then calling them on it is one thing. But as a one-time thing? My reaction would be to tell the person to stop being so sensitive.
My biggest problem with the notion that all depictions must include some minorities is that it tends to reduce it to "Make sure all the different people are there", which emphasizes the 'different', aka 'not like us'. Doing it over time is more natural and tends to shore up the idea that 'they' are actually a part of 'us'. Which is, I believe, how it should be.
To bring it to Sims stuff: I tend to let ACR and my Sims decide who is attracted to who. I leave turn-ons at their default (except for tweaking in existing relationships). I let ACR or heart-farting pick the gender and lightning bolts pick the person as a rule (though for story reasons I sometimes do something else). In short, I tend to let it work how it does in the real world... what people like is what they like. I did deliberately make the decision to generally have my populations blind to gender preference (including installing the same-sex marriage hack) because in general I'd prefer to just have it work that way, but for story reasons I'd put in homophobia or worries about it if I felt it were appropriate to the setting (and, in fact, I have). I don't go out of my way to make sure some percentage of every generation or whatever is gay, or that some percentage of my townies are black, or whatever; I let randomness take care of it. I even make custom townies pseudo-randomly (pseudo- because there are some things I tend not to do, like skin 4 green-eyed blondes with perfect untweaked face 1 templates named Viktor Chen). Diversity is good; artificially mathematically-derived diversity is silly.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 05:43 pm (UTC)It's easy to roll your eye at things like spelling womyn with a y, but without those actions to that extreme, we'd probably still be calling it mankind instead of humankind. I don't think I should have to make everything inclusive to absolutely everyone all the time, but it's more about harm reduction for me. It's just as easy for me to ask someone if they are dating "anyone" than to ask if they have a boy/girlfriend, so I do think behaviour like that can (and should) be easily changed.
I've also gotten myself tangled up when it comes to trans people once or twice, and I'm very much someone who's not down with gendered thinking. It can be hard to always be perfectly inclusive. Overall, though, I think it's worth being aware of it and doing what you can do to be respectful.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 06:15 pm (UTC)Best bet for transfolk is just to ask what they prefer (assuming you're aware in the first place, natch). Maybe they're semi-closeted and in some situations want you to use the birth gender and the name that goes with it. Maybe they're fully embracing their real gender and living full-time that way, so don't want any references to their birth gender or name at all. Or maybe they're gender-fluid by choice.
I have a friend who falls into that category. Birth gender is male, and professionally and academically, he presents as male with his birth name or nickname. Socially, though, there are times when using "she" (and a different name) is right... though it's easy to switch, because when she's chosen to do that, you will be able to tell. She really is a very different person as a woman, not just in terms of dress and appearance but also in mannerisms. I don't know if I've ever seen her in jeans anyhow (unlike when he's male) but if she did show up in jeans I'd still know it was her and not him because they move differently.
Heh, and while I typed all the genders appropriately up there, reading back over it, I can see why some people get confused on the topic.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 04:19 am (UTC)Most of what I think has already been expressed more eloquently than I could - by madame_ugly, simgaroop, and wtsims. Judging from everything you've written in your Strangetown, I wouldn't call you heterosexist at all - being straight does not mean you are inherently bigoted. I consider myself both a feminist and pro-gay, but it bothers me when people go too far - especially if people assume that because I'm a straight white female, I must be bigoted against gays. I don't think I am. Of course I don't know what it feels like to be gay or bi, but I believe that sexuality is pretty much innate - I don't think I could be attracted to women if I tried - and that gays should have the same rights that straights do. And yes, that includes marriage.
Speaking of perceptions of gay/bi people, I got seriously annoyed at a BBS discussion on the Sims' website talking about what people do with their gay/lesbian sims. A lot of the posters said they dressed them in "femme"/"butch" styles, or they were so disgusted by the idea of gay sims that they never acted on their sims' same-sex impulses. For me, I tend to have more straight sims than gay sims, but I still have gay/bi sims. Since most sims have no set gender preference, I usually pair my sims up with whoever is convenient, or I let ACR decide who is attracted to who. I've had queer sims - only two lesbian couples, but a lot of male couples, and a lot of bisexual romance sims - and I dress them and decorate their houses the same as for straight sims. I actually like that Maxis made sims bisexual so players can shape their sims' gender preferences how they want.
As for the warnings about homosexuality that a lot of simmers put at the beginning of their stories, I don't like them. First, I don't think warnings are necessary unless the story contains really offensive content (and a gay kiss doesn't constitute offensive content), and if you're young enough that you're scarred by a kissing scene or a swear word, you shouldn't be online without parental supervision. I don't see how a straight kiss can be G-rated, but a gay kiss automatically is adult territory. It's bullshit. Second, this might make me sound unsympathetic, but I frankly don't care if someone is offended by a depiction of a gay couple. Maybe people want to avoid conflict, but I wouldn't want to pander to bigots online. If someone was offended by a story showing a black-white couple, should the story writer have to apologize and say, "I'm sorry if this offends anyone?" I don't think so, and I don't think anyone should have to apologize for depicting a gay or bi character. They can choose not to read the story if it offends them. Personally, I find M-Preg stories creepy and disturbing. I'm not bothered by alien pregnancies in Sims, but the way some female writers fetishize male pregnancy creeps me out, so I don't read those stories. So, I don't think stories with gay characters need special warnings anymore than stories with straight characters. If it offends somebody, they can always do the sensible thing and click on the "X" in the top right corner of their screen. It's an easy solution, but some people just don't get it.