Strange Tomato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strangetomato) wrote2008-10-15 10:45 am
strangetomato) wrote2008-10-15 10:45 am
Entry tags:
Drabble+: Nightmare
There's nothing quite like breaking your own rules, is there? I'm contrary like that, so actually coming out and saying I'm not going to post much will obviously make me want to write something. So here it is... a drabble+.
Prompt: A character wakes from a nightmare in the middle of the night to the person they least want to see at that moment.
Characters: Tank Grunt (and others, but you'll have to read it to see)
Wordcount: 400
Warnings: language, violence
Then Johnny stopped moving. Tank held his neck in his hands, and Johnny looked back at him with lifeless eyes.
He was dead, and Tank had killed him.
Finally.
Goddamned alien piece of shit.
But why did he feel so empty?
Oh, god. He had killed him.
"Johnny... Johnny?!" Tank shook him. "Shit... I didn't mean it. Wake up, you asshole!"
Frantically, he tried to revive him, but it was too late.
Then Ripp was there, wailing. He fell onto the corpse in despair. "Johnny! You've killed him. You've killed my Johnny!"
"Stop it!" Tank yelled, "Stop crying!"
"You killed him. My brother... you killed my brother."
"I'M your brother."
Why, Ripp? Why him? Why not me?
"I hate you."
Had he said the words, or had Ripp?
Then he was choking him, pressing Ripp to the floor, and feeling the life go out of him too.
Why not me?
He was killing him.
He wanted to stop, but couldn't.
He tried to break out of it, but couldn't.
He tried to scream, but nothing came out.
"Tank?" Frances was on him, shaking him. "TANK!"
Tank still couldn't move or say anything. He couldn't even catch his breath. He could see the room around him, and Frances reaching down at him, but he couldn't move. Frances had his hands reaching out towards his neck, and he thought he must be trying to kill him too. He tried to yell, "Get the fuck off of me!" but nothing came out.
"Tank?! What's wrong with you? Stop it! Wake up! You're scaring me." Frances felt his panic rising, and the next thing he knew, he had slapped Tank squarely across the face. "WAKE UP!"
Tank woke up.
For a moment, they just stared at each other. Tank wanted to escape, to shove Frances aside and get out of there, but he felt a strange comfort in having him there too.
He didn't want to be comforted.
He didn't need it.
How much of that had Frances been able to witness? Had he cried out in his sleep? Dreams were blurring into reality, and he didn't want Frances to see that... to see what he had done. He didn't want Frances on his bed either.
"You... hit me."
"I'm sorry." Frances bit his quivering lip, and tried not to cry, but the panic and relief were too much for him.
"God... don't cry."
Prompt: A character wakes from a nightmare in the middle of the night to the person they least want to see at that moment.
Characters: Tank Grunt (and others, but you'll have to read it to see)
Wordcount: 400
Warnings: language, violence
Then Johnny stopped moving. Tank held his neck in his hands, and Johnny looked back at him with lifeless eyes.
He was dead, and Tank had killed him.
Finally.
Goddamned alien piece of shit.
But why did he feel so empty?
Oh, god. He had killed him.
"Johnny... Johnny?!" Tank shook him. "Shit... I didn't mean it. Wake up, you asshole!"
Frantically, he tried to revive him, but it was too late.
Then Ripp was there, wailing. He fell onto the corpse in despair. "Johnny! You've killed him. You've killed my Johnny!"
"Stop it!" Tank yelled, "Stop crying!"
"You killed him. My brother... you killed my brother."
"I'M your brother."
Why, Ripp? Why him? Why not me?
"I hate you."
Had he said the words, or had Ripp?
Then he was choking him, pressing Ripp to the floor, and feeling the life go out of him too.
Why not me?
He was killing him.
He wanted to stop, but couldn't.
He tried to break out of it, but couldn't.
He tried to scream, but nothing came out.
"Tank?" Frances was on him, shaking him. "TANK!"
Tank still couldn't move or say anything. He couldn't even catch his breath. He could see the room around him, and Frances reaching down at him, but he couldn't move. Frances had his hands reaching out towards his neck, and he thought he must be trying to kill him too. He tried to yell, "Get the fuck off of me!" but nothing came out.
"Tank?! What's wrong with you? Stop it! Wake up! You're scaring me." Frances felt his panic rising, and the next thing he knew, he had slapped Tank squarely across the face. "WAKE UP!"
Tank woke up.
For a moment, they just stared at each other. Tank wanted to escape, to shove Frances aside and get out of there, but he felt a strange comfort in having him there too.
He didn't want to be comforted.
He didn't need it.
How much of that had Frances been able to witness? Had he cried out in his sleep? Dreams were blurring into reality, and he didn't want Frances to see that... to see what he had done. He didn't want Frances on his bed either.
"You... hit me."
"I'm sorry." Frances bit his quivering lip, and tried not to cry, but the panic and relief were too much for him.
"God... don't cry."
no subject
*snicker*
Maybe you just need to indulge in some text only offerings for a bit? You could use them to advance the main story, too (then you could get to the "fun stuff" instead of all the "have to write this first" crap).
Add me to the list of folks who enjoy your take on Tank. (it makes me wish you hadn't offed dear Buzz so soon, I bet you'd give him a great anaylsis, too).
no subject
Yeah, it's an idea. I'm mostly just picking away at a number of different chapters and sections now, so I can't see any of them getting finished soon, but you never know. If a do a few more drabbles, and I could be bursting with inspiration.
Thanks. I have the same regret. I still think that killing him was the right thing to do (especially from Olive's side of the story), but I wish I could have done more with him. Now that you've mentioned it, I'm feeling like I'll slip a little flashback to when he met Lyla or something. It would be interesting to think about what he would have been like as a young, single guy.
Then there's his ghost, who just started haunting Nervous (Buzz was in an urn in a secret room, and not the cemetery, so he wasn't moved). That's one angry ghost. His anger thought cloud alternates between one of the dogs (who snarl in his direction), Tank, and the family sim icon (which is a little odd). His ghost will make an appearance in the story at some point.
no subject
I don't know that offing Buzz is something to be regretted. It flowed nicely with the story (and helped to springboard the story of his kids--who are the real focus of the whole thing).
As for flashbacks and such, how sensitive IS Nervous? If Buzz's ghost is hauting him, perhaps Nervous could be your gateway to get some Buzz flashbacks going. He could be tuned in to Buzz's festering anger and see Buzz's memories or something like that. That way the flashbacks wouldn't come out of left field (and could actually give some forward momentum to the story). (just a random thought)
OR, you could indulge your Buzz flashbacks through drabbles and things like that. I like using drabbles and extra/bonus stuff to show some of the "off screen" things going on with more minor characters.