Short story: A message from Johnny Smith

[strangetomato]

I was doing a little work on the next chapter, and then this short little thing jumped into my head, so I just churned it out. Full disclosure (and possibly too much information): I thought of it while having to unclog the toilet. Isn't it nice to have sims there to occupy your mind while dealing with the more unpleasant necessities of life? Anyway, Johnny feels my pain. I can always feel better knowing that Johnny is there to arch a brow on my behalf.











It's been brought to my attention that some of you think of me as a rather uptight guy.

This is not entirely true.








Now, I'll be the first to admit that I can be very exacting, and even a bit of a perfectionist, but I'm not a total drag.




I'm pretty easygoing, really. It's just that, more often than not, you see me when I'm irritated.




Some people are just hard to live with, inciting rage in the nicest of people.

No, I'm not pointing any fingers. Really, I'm not.




Ripp?

Now, I didn't say that, did I?




Anyway... some people like to leave the bathroom in an unholy mess.




This doesn't bother me. Not at all.




I really don't mind cleaning the bathroom.




I mean, who doesn't like scrubbing the toilet, right?

Some people also like to announce the details of their bathroom usage, even though this may be viewed as too much information by others.




"If you need me, I'll be taking a dump."




"Gotta go take a smash."




"I'm going to go drop the kids off at the pool."




"Looks like it's time to rock the porcelain again."

Those things are always very useful to know.






These same people NEVER seem to flush the toilet properly, and it often ends up clogged.

Do they offer to unclog it? No.

Do they bitch and whine when I suggest that they do it? Of course they do.




Some people always seem to have an excuse, like my personal favourite: the sore wrist.

I can think of a suggestion or two to help prevent that one, if you get my meaning.




In fact, that's a whole other complaint about cleaning the shower, right there.




These same people often protest, "How do you know that it was me?"

I don't think I need to explain that one, right? Despite what some people may think, I do not have amnesia.




And another thing...

Some people have a knack for breaking everything they touch.

Again, I'm not referring to anyone in particular here.




Some people also like to sing and whistle annoying songs.

They like to do it loudly.




They like to do it a lot.




I don't think I'm being that unreasonable, am I? Surely, anyone would find that annoying.

So, you see what I have to put up with, and why I may sometimes seem like the world's biggest killjoy. This stuff just gets irritating in large does, and someone has to stay sensible and make sure the house doesn't fall apart, right?

So why do I put up with it at all?

That's a really good question.












I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.







 

Comments

[hidden-kitten.livejournal.com]

This made me lol. And also this, because he's so prissy.

[franwi.livejournal.com]

I always think about the sims when I'm scrubbing a toilet. They make it look so easy - damn them! I do hope your plunging experience was a bit nicer than the game version, though, and didn't shower your face. ;)

Oh Johnny, I feel for you! And now I completely understand! Especially after taking a look at that unholy mess of a bathroom. He puts up with a lot, doesn't he? *gives him a medal*

[music-simbol.livejournal.com]

Awww, this was so cute!!! You were unclogging the toilet, apparently Johnny does it a lot, so it makes sense this would come to you. :P

Also, this is the BEST PICTURE OF JOHNNY EVER!!!! I literally laughed out loud!! SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!! A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Odd Couple

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Is Johnny's middle name Felix, by chance?

What about Ripp? Is he Ripp Oscar Grunt?

You should download a cigar for Ripp to chomp on to add to the fun of it all (oh, and he needs to wear the grubby pjs).

And why do I get the feeling Ripp is one of those types who likes to sigh VERY LOUDLY while peeing? (tmi alert, my wife does this to irritate me, so nasty)

[abbycat900.livejournal.com]

Awh! I've always loved Johnny. I'd pay him if he cleaned up after me!

[amaryssobellus.livejournal.com]

I still think that Johnny's a big priss. :P

[simgarooop.livejournal.com]

I've never thought that Johnny is uptight, to be honest.

Perhaps because I'm almost as bad as he is, and I live with a sister whose second name should be "Mess". I don't know how my mother (who'd be a 11 neat point sim if she were one, and no, that number is not a typo) didn't lose her mind when we were little.

Well, at least my sis never says those lovely phrases out loud when going to the bathroom. Yikes! That's so tacky, Ripp! :S

I love Johnny's face when Ripp is whistling. Man, he's really the master of arched eyebrows! :D.

Lovely story, I enjoyed it a lot!

[xel-squirgle-ox.livejournal.com]

This had me laughing till I cried! XD
Johnny's faces are PRICELESS and I just love all of Ripp's different wordings for "I have to go take a shit". Come to think of it, my brother and I have a similar relationship when it comes to our habits like this. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes.

[smjoshsims.livejournal.com]

This was really funny! I love ALL of his expressions, Johnny is such an awesome character. :D

[cindyanne1.livejournal.com]

I may be remembering wrong, but isn't Johnny on the sloppy side too? I honestly can't remember... I know he's a gemini, but that doesn't tell me much. :P I also know he's not a complete neat-freak. Maybe in the middle?

Still I can see him as being a bit uptight, lol. Just because he seems to me to be one that likes to be in control of things. But I love him though. He's the very first Maxis sim I ever played. ;)

I always think of the sims when it comes to diaper changing. My selfsim has it too easy... no wiping, no poo-up-the-back, and no little snaps to try to re-do around thrashing little legs. Just whoop-se-daisy! New diaper! Whee!

Sims also should have to vaccuum. I'm just sayin'!

[leskuh.livejournal.com]

Finally - we have MOAR Johnny!!!

I love how it kind of seems to go faster and more desperate as the little story goes on. And Johnny's faces are the best!

I also love that after all the things Ripp does to annoy Johnny, they're still the best of friends. And lol at Johnny's INTENSE WORKOUT in the beginning. He's such a drama queen.

I loved this!

[simfulacts.livejournal.com]

I loved that "bust a nut" shot of Johnny. Jolly good ROFL time there!

"Gotta drop the Cosby's off at the pool" was the version I always would hear. :P

Tee hee.

"Poop."

[pixelcurious.livejournal.com]

L-O-effing-L! Especially the one pic. The "I have a suggestion or two" one. That's fucking classic. XD

I'd never heard "take a smash" before. I love learning new slang. And I hadn't heard "drop the kids off at the pool" in a long time... it cracked me up bad. :D

Heehee *goes back to read it again*

[indigoleo.livejournal.com]

I was reading this at work and trying not to laugh. that was very hard to do.
Johnny's faces, as always, are the best. He looks like he's going to turn around and slap someone if they don't stop whistling in his ear. :D
And I just love the picture of Ripp...the one with the "sore wrist". LOL! If my wrist looked anything like his does there, I'd be complaining also!
Ripp constantly telling Johnny he's off to take a dump sort of reminds me of my ex-husband. Definitely TMI. Not only would he tell me what he was about to do I sometimes got a play-by-play description of everything. Way more then I ever needed to know or wanted to know.

[simsbarbie.livejournal.com]

Awwesome pictures and very funny. I also never heard of "taking a smash." I'll use it on my husband one day. LOL

[dragancaor.livejournal.com]

Ripp's informative comments were priceless. Seriously priceless.
& this pic of johnny was just damn perfect.

It's funny when & where you think of things =P

[ikichi.livejournal.com]

Ok, I seriously said, "oh jesus god!" at this because I thought they were going to kiss and my eyes went THIS BIG.

O_O

Poor Johnny. You're still uptight, man. Why don't you sucker freshmen into cleaning for you? Heck, why doesn't Ripp?

Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, will I ever "get" you? I fear not. But you're still way fun to have around.

[x-illegal-x.livejournal.com]

I never realized how adorable Johnny looks. Those expressions are priceless.

[treesahquiche.livejournal.com]

Aw, this is so adorable. The end made me all wibbly.

[80sfiend.livejournal.com]

LMAO Oh Johnny, we DO know how hard it is to live with Ripp. You're forgiven for SOME of the prissy/killjoy things you say. :)

[catladymeow.livejournal.com]

lol, this reminds me of when a friend online said he had to go drop the kids off at the pool and my response was I did not know you had kids. Someone else had to explain to me what that meant. It made me lol then too.