Strange Tomato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strangetomato) wrote2010-08-16 11:05 am
strangetomato) wrote2010-08-16 11:05 am
Entry tags:
Again with the gender thing...
Gender is weird, huh?
I've noticed that people on lj (and other places online, I assume) tend to make something of an issue out of people getting their gender wrong. Someone made a secret about me at one point, saying that they always thought I was a guy, and I wonder how they thought I was going to react to that. I don't really care. If anything, I think it's nice to be anonymously without gender on the internet, and I usually don't select a gender when given the option in profiles and such. If people don't know, then you don't have any of the baggage that comes with it. It's the same reason I use SO instead of husband. Husband feels like such a loaded term to me.
I see people rushing to correct people when they get the gender of a simmer wrong, whether it's themselves or someone else. I notice, too, that it's always males. That's not surprising. It makes sense, given the predominantly female nature of the sims fandom (and fandom in general). We're going to assume y'all have ovaries unless we're told the difference. But why is it so important to correct people?
I was curious about it, so I thought I'd ask (rather than make a simsecret or some such nonsense). For those of you that have done it (and I know a number of people on my flist that have), why do you feel the need to inform people that you or someone else is a male? Note that I'm not here to pick a fight or anything of the sort. I'd just like to hear your side of it.
(Oh, and... for the record, fanseelamb is a female. :P This one seems to come up over and over again.)
And another thing...
I've always been one of those people that tries to be conscious of the gendered messages I give to children in the way I talk to them, like not telling girl's they're "pretty" while telling boys they're "smart" and crap like that (which people do ALL of the time, if you listen to them), but then I noticed I was treating Petey (my first male cat) in a distinctly different way than his big "sister," Suki. How much of that is personality, and how much of that is me projecting? (He's a total Momma's boy, by the way. :P) It's crazy how we slip into these things. The cats are both spayed/neutered, so it's not like they even have any sex-based behaviours to speak of. And they're cats! Do they even have gender?
What do you think? Have any thoughts or interesting stories to share?
I've noticed that people on lj (and other places online, I assume) tend to make something of an issue out of people getting their gender wrong. Someone made a secret about me at one point, saying that they always thought I was a guy, and I wonder how they thought I was going to react to that. I don't really care. If anything, I think it's nice to be anonymously without gender on the internet, and I usually don't select a gender when given the option in profiles and such. If people don't know, then you don't have any of the baggage that comes with it. It's the same reason I use SO instead of husband. Husband feels like such a loaded term to me.
I see people rushing to correct people when they get the gender of a simmer wrong, whether it's themselves or someone else. I notice, too, that it's always males. That's not surprising. It makes sense, given the predominantly female nature of the sims fandom (and fandom in general). We're going to assume y'all have ovaries unless we're told the difference. But why is it so important to correct people?
I was curious about it, so I thought I'd ask (rather than make a simsecret or some such nonsense). For those of you that have done it (and I know a number of people on my flist that have), why do you feel the need to inform people that you or someone else is a male? Note that I'm not here to pick a fight or anything of the sort. I'd just like to hear your side of it.
(Oh, and... for the record, fanseelamb is a female. :P This one seems to come up over and over again.)
And another thing...
I've always been one of those people that tries to be conscious of the gendered messages I give to children in the way I talk to them, like not telling girl's they're "pretty" while telling boys they're "smart" and crap like that (which people do ALL of the time, if you listen to them), but then I noticed I was treating Petey (my first male cat) in a distinctly different way than his big "sister," Suki. How much of that is personality, and how much of that is me projecting? (He's a total Momma's boy, by the way. :P) It's crazy how we slip into these things. The cats are both spayed/neutered, so it's not like they even have any sex-based behaviours to speak of. And they're cats! Do they even have gender?
What do you think? Have any thoughts or interesting stories to share?
no subject
But one thing I have experience with is parents who haven't done the research on what they and I think I have, so they don't always realize that my anxiety in public and temporary loss of temper control aren't intentional, and they treat me like a little kid for my "little kid actions" and expect me to behave like someone not afflicted with anything so bad.
(Which really puts things into perspective. If you're telling me there are people worse than I am ... wow.)
Since I've never had it pointed out that I've got such a big privilege, I haven't had the chance to recognize it, really.
Once again, I do appreciate the value of new points of view. Even if I do still disagree when I'm done discussing this, the chance to work myself into a better mindset is something I value.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2010-08-19 05:20 am (UTC)(link)Yes, there are people who are worse off, though it's difficult to compare. My problems aren't like yours, but they make it difficult to live the way most people do. Some days I don't want to wake up (and not because I'm lazy - just depressed), some days the thought of even going out to do the grocery shopping makes me feel physically ill, human interaction is often very difficult for me. I suffer from a range of anxiety and emotional disorders. As I said, it's hard to compare, though, since we are going through such different things. And I don't mean to make this a contest either. :-) It's not about who has it worse; I'm just hoping that sharing a bit about myself will open your eyes to some things you may not otherwise have been aware of.
I don't think we are particularly disagreeing at this point as much as discussing. I can see that you were ignorant to some things (which is understandable, we're all ignorant to some things!), and I just hope I've opened your eyes a bit. We tend to have a very narrow view of the world, so it's nice to have someone else's perspective sometimes. Thank you for considering what I say and not turning this into a flame war.