Again with the gender thing...

[strangetomato]

Gender is weird, huh?

I've noticed that people on lj (and other places online, I assume) tend to make something of an issue out of people getting their gender wrong. Someone made a secret about me at one point, saying that they always thought I was a guy, and I wonder how they thought I was going to react to that. I don't really care. If anything, I think it's nice to be anonymously without gender on the internet, and I usually don't select a gender when given the option in profiles and such. If people don't know, then you don't have any of the baggage that comes with it. It's the same reason I use SO instead of husband. Husband feels like such a loaded term to me.

I see people rushing to correct people when they get the gender of a simmer wrong, whether it's themselves or someone else. I notice, too, that it's always males. That's not surprising. It makes sense, given the predominantly female nature of the sims fandom (and fandom in general). We're going to assume y'all have ovaries unless we're told the difference. But why is it so important to correct people?

I was curious about it, so I thought I'd ask (rather than make a simsecret or some such nonsense). For those of you that have done it (and I know a number of people on my flist that have), why do you feel the need to inform people that you or someone else is a male? Note that I'm not here to pick a fight or anything of the sort. I'd just like to hear your side of it.

(Oh, and... for the record, fanseelamb is a female. :P This one seems to come up over and over again.)

And another thing...

I've always been one of those people that tries to be conscious of the gendered messages I give to children in the way I talk to them, like not telling girl's they're "pretty" while telling boys they're "smart" and crap like that (which people do ALL of the time, if you listen to them), but then I noticed I was treating Petey (my first male cat) in a distinctly different way than his big "sister," Suki. How much of that is personality, and how much of that is me projecting? (He's a total Momma's boy, by the way. :P) It's crazy how we slip into these things. The cats are both spayed/neutered, so it's not like they even have any sex-based behaviours to speak of. And they're cats! Do they even have gender?

What do you think? Have any thoughts or interesting stories to share?

Comments

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

I've always seen the "quick to correct gender" thing (in the sims community) as more of a "I know so and so better than you" type thing then a "eww, don't call him a girl" thing. Simmers tend to have a "I knew it/did it first" hard on, so knowing playerX is a BOY would be a great "I'm a better simmer than you" trump.

And boys are rare, so the correcting person is extra cool (if you will) for having a rare BOY in their simmer friend collection (double rare if said boy is an active/popular simmer AND there name was not obvious in any way).

As for the secret thing, I can understand someone doing that. It's actually a perfect use of the secret format. Secret writer is a little worried they'll offend (so put on the secret cloak) but also feel silly for being worried. I wish there were more "real" secrets like that.

(huh, I never thought fanseelamb was a boy--I think "lamb" made me think "girl"--that and girl is always the safe bet when talking sim folks)

*snicker* Worrying about your cat children. I routinely tell my male cats they are pretty (versus handsome--I just don't like the word handsome for some reason). I like saying "you're a pretty boy!". Makes me feel like my cats are actually birds! (I can't say--without laughing--"what a smart boy/girl" to any of my cats. They just aren't that gifted in the brains department.)

[meetme2theriver.livejournal.com]

Heheh, all the sim versions of the male True Blood characters (and various other hunky TV show men) were the main tipoff for me about fanseelamb. :) (They're all very well done, too.)

And I think you're right about the 'I knew it first'/'I know a RARE BOY' thing in the Sims community, especially (but not exclusively) among the younger members.

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the Mulder sim (but no Scully) was a blip on the girl radar for me, too (re: fanseelamb).

[pixelcurious.livejournal.com]

Just the name fanseelamb sounds female -- both the "lamb" part, as you noted, and "fansee" -- not too many guys are going to dub themselves Fancy anything. And if they do, they're probably not the kind of men who mind a little gender confusion. *grin*

[madame-ugly.livejournal.com]

And they're probably going to like Mulder more than Scully.

[http://users.livejournal.com/ari_/]

for years and years, I've been reading that as "farsee" instead of "fansee". Oi.

(but yes, was pretty sure of the female gender there, mostly because of the comments on the female top meshes)

[meetme2theriver.livejournal.com]

There is a Scully sim, actually, but she's not featured so often. :) And the Mulder one is a lot more accurate, very impressively so.

[morkmork.livejournal.com]

I hadn't really thought about it that much, but I might have guessed guy because I associate a lot of male clothing with FSL and by extension with Fanseelamb herself. I think a lot of people might think that way. Also a lot of the older stuff is based on QAF and I don't know many women who watch that show, though I'm sure there are plenty. What little I've seen of it is super testosterone driven.

Anyway, I don't really see the need to tell anyone my gender and wouldn't really feel the need to correct anyone either.