Strange Tomato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strangetomato) wrote2009-05-26 11:38 pm
strangetomato) wrote2009-05-26 11:38 pm
Strangetown, Here We Come: Chapter Thirty-One - part three
Warnings: language, sexual situations, partial sim nudity, dicks, a number of minor continuity errors (one was unavoidable and one was way too much of a hassle to fix)
Chapter Thirty-One
Part Three
They made themselves at home in no time at all.
"Aww, sweet! A full bar," Ripp said, then hesitated. "I mean, not that I plan to drink anything..."
"Oh, no?" Johnny proceeded to mix up some drinks, exaggerating every movement with a flourish and flip of his hair, hips jutted and whistling. Ripp stared at him, blankly. "What?" he asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"So you're a LUSH now?"
"There's nothing wrong with having a drink or two. Even my mother does that."
"I swear to God I'll never figure you out, John. You were always, always on my fucking case about drinking too much and now suddenly you're the one who's all about it?"
"Yeah, well maybe you're not meant to figure me out. I'm a complicated guy, alright? Just go with it." He tasted his concoction, and was satisfied with it. "Besides, all things in moderation. I'M enjoying a drink or two. YOU get shit-faced. There's a big difference."
"Hey, I'm doing a lot better at keeping myself in check, don't you think? I haven't done that in ages, you know. I can handle myself."
"I know," Johnny said, handing him a drink. "Here. Let's see how you handle this."
"You do realize it's 11:00 in the morning, right?'
Johnny shrugged, and took a gulp of his drink. "Cheers."
Ophelia came down from upstairs. "You guys really need to see the balcony. It's gorgeous." She observed the full glasses and sighed heavily. "Ripp, it's not even noon yet."
"Hey," Ripp said, pointing at Johnny. "blame him, not me."
Again, Johnny shrugged, a detached smile on his face. Ophelia was a little baffled, but turned her thoughts to other concerns.
"So nobody sees the need to offer me a drink?" she asked.
Johnny pointed to the glasses. "Help yourself, dear."
"Yeah, Phi. Geez... what are we, your man-servants?"
Ophelia flicked him playfully in the face as she walked by to pick up a glass. "Smart asses."
After a couple more drinks, Johnny tipped his glass back and drained the last of it down his throat.
"Okay, let's hit the hot tub"
"Nice," Ripp said. "I'm liking this plan."
"You two go on," Ophelia said. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Oh, yeah. This is the life."
Ripp turned to Johnny. "This has to be -"
He was stopped mid-sentence by a mouthful of overly chlorinated water. Johnny was laughing his ass off.
Ripp flicked a little water back at him. "You're a really saucy drunk, you know."
"I'm not drunk."
"No, of course not. Not at all."
Both went quiet as they leaned back and felt the water swirling around them. "So glad I got the hot tub," Johnny murmered.
Instead of responding to Johnny's statement, Ripp started singing.
"If your name is on the guest list, no one can take you higher.
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire."
"Not again..."
"Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
"They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night"
"Methinks thou dost protest too much," Johnny said.
"Huh?"
"I don't think your balls are even all that big. You're all talk."
"You think?"
"Well you bring it up a lot... I think you have size issues. Not just balls, either." Johnny winked at him and laughed.
"Heh. Mine's bigger, I bet."
"Sure, Ripp. Keeping telling yourself that."
"Well, what's yours? Let's compare figures."
"I beg your pardon?!"
"Your stats."
"My STATS?"
"Yeah, your cock stats."
"I don't have 'cock stats,' thankyouverymuch."
"Sure you do. I know you've measured it. Everyone does it at some point, John." He was right. Johnny had measured it, out of curiosity, but only that one time.
He shuffled around the issue, but Ripp could see that he'd called it correctly. "Well, what are yours?"
Ripp hesitated, but just for a second. "My personal best... is six and two eighths."
"That's ALL?" Johnny snickered.
"Fuck you, Johnny! That's way more than average."
"Not WAY more. I would call that slightly more than average."
"It's still above average." Ripp sulked. He pouted. "So...," he ventured, "you have more than that?"
"Seven."
"No way..."
"I'm afraid so, friend."
"A perfect seven? Just right on the mark?" It would be so like Johnny, of course, to be so precise, and have such a mythically perfect, even holy, number. Johnny's penis was perfect. He should have been able to guess that. It probably didn't even veer off to one side. Straight and perfect and green. It probably glowed in the dark too.
"Yeah." He was proud. Of course he was.
"You asshole."
Johnny laughed.
He had to redeem himself somehow. Surely, he could beat him out in some area...
"Okay, well how about girth?"
"Well, I didn't even think to measure that."
"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny... where are your priorities?" He had this one in the bag, he could tell.
"Hey, guys," Ophelia said as she appeared around the corner. "You're not talking about me, are you?"
Johnny and Ripp exchanged amused grins.
"Not unless you're a penis," Ripp said.
"And what if I am?" she said.
"Well that changes matters considerably," Johnny said, in mock severity.
Ripp reached out to her. "I'd still like you if you were a penis."
"Yeah, I know you would." She smirked as she lowered herself into the hot water.
They kept on enjoying themselves like that all day. They were eating the food, dancing the dance, drinking the drink.
They were drinking the drink well into the night.
It just seemed like the thing to do. It was such a carefree heady time, off on their own like that. It was the thrill of a new environment, so they were enjoying themselves to the fullest.
Even Johnny.
Johnny most of all, in fact. When he finally let loose, he really let loose, and he was desperate to just forget himself for a change.
"You call that a slap dance?"
"Oh, yeah? Smart guy, huh?"
"Beat this."
Johnny ended the impromptu dance off with a very clumsily executed "bust a move." He nearly fell over, right into Ripp.
"Awww, John." Ripp said, laughing. "You're the best... I friggin' love ya."
"Yeah... I'm the BEST. Don't forget it..." Johnny slurred.
Ripp reached up to touch his friend's face, but Johnny lurched forward unexpectedly, causing him push back and strike him by accident.
Johnny took the slap as an invitation to fight back and tackled him, but then lost his footing, sending them both to the floor.
"Guys," Ophelia said.
"You can't fight me," Johnny taunted him. "You can't fight."
Ripp was laughing uncontrollably. "Yeah, c'mon! Fight me. That's it! Take me out. Fight me!"
"Guys!" Ophelia yelled. "Knock it off! You're going to break something." She worried that they might be the things broken, if things turned more serious. "Guys..." After a couple more tosses and turns, they released their grip on each other.
"We got told," Ripp said.
"Guess we're in trouble now..." Johnny was fading fast, the full weight of him was draped over Ripp. His breath was slow and drunken and heavy. Again, Ripp's hand sought Johnny's face.
Before it reached its destination, Johnny stumbled to his feet. He stood for a minute, with the room spinning, then finally fell to the couch, while the room continued to spin.
"That's it... for me..."
Phi lay down beside him and cuddled into him. "Poor Johnny..."
They snuggled up, and got a little more comfortable. Ripp stood for a moment, not really sure what he should do, and then he sat down next to them.
He looked over, watching them, as Phi nibbled at the back of Johnny's neck. It was like he wasn't even there. How nice would it be to just slide in there, next to Phi? He reached his hand out and ran it across her back, rubbing her shoulders.
She looked back and him and smiled, and he let himself lean ever so slightly towards them, until he drifted right down onto Phi and tucked himself in too. Nobody seemed to mind.
He ran his hand over her, kissing her neck. His hand drifted down over to where Johnny was, and paused. He ran it up over his shoulder. "John?" His hand fell down the length of Johnny's arm. No reaction. He touched his face. Nothing. Johnny was asleep.
Ripp realized that Ophelia's breath had also grown slow and heavy, and that he too was nearly unconscious, so he gave himself over to it.
Johnny woke up several hours later.
"Phi... honey, we should go to bed. It's cold."
There was no response, so he reached down and picked her up, and carried her upstairs.
Ripp stirred, aware of the rapidly cooling lack of Ophelia next to him. When he realized that they had woken up and left him alone, he shivered at more than just the physical coldness of the room. He was all alone.
He went to the fireplace, and tried to remember something, anything, about building a fire.
Behind him, he heard Johnny coming down the stairs. He was probably wondering what all the noise was.
"Hey, John, help me build up the fire here, would you? I'm hopeless."
"Why? It's time for bed. It's the middle of the middle of the night. I don't want the fire going while we're all asleep. It's too dangerous."
Ripp dropped what he was doing and staggered over to Johnny. "But I'll freeze to death down here without a fire."
"Down here?"
"Well, yeah... there's only one bed."
Johnny smiled, placed his hand on Ripp's shoulder, and directed him towards the stairs.
"Oh. I didn't -"
"Didn't you?"
Ripp said nothing more, and just smiled at him before stomping up the stairs. Johnny called out from behind him, "Just save some room for me, okay?"
"You got it."
Johnny made one last survey of the cabin, checking to make sure the stove was off, the door was locked, and then he poured himself a large glass of water and downed it. That would help with the headache in the morning, he figured, but not much. He searched the medicine cabinet for some painkillers, and took one as a precautionary measure, and went back to bed with his two best friends.
Normal? Who needed normal?
"Fuck it," he said, to nobody in particular.
Ripp woke.
His arm was wrapped around Ophelia, but was resting on Johnny.
He thought back to the previous night and wondered about it. Had he done anything too bold, too revealing? No, but he had been very forward. He considered it, and wondered why he couldn't ever just refrain from doing some of the things he wanted to do. He always did that. He always did too much, did the wrong thing.
But what was wrong with it? As he staggered to his feet, still groggy, Ripp could not produce a single reason to support the theory that he shouldn't act on his feelings.
Why shouldn't he?
He made his way downstairs.
Johnny woke much later than usual. It was the middle of the day.
Hearing noises downstairs, he went down to check it out.
"Oh, good. You're up." Ripp popped into the room from the kitchen. "Have a seat."
Much to Johnny's amazement, Ripp was serving him breakfast.
"What's all this about?"
"It's breakfast. Eat up."
"Wait. There's something different about you..." He looked him over. "You shaved."
"Yeah," he said, "a little."
"You woke up earlier than I did, got a shave, and started making me breakfast..." Johnny raised a brow. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't know. I'm just happy, I guess." He said it quickly, brushing it off, and then moved on. "Go on and eat it, okay?"
Johnny started to dig in, but then paused. "Umm, Ripp?"
"Yeah?"
"Is this yogurt?"
"Yeah, why?"
Johnny opened his mouth and let it fall back out into the bowl.
"Oh, shit. Shit! I'm an idiot." He rushed over to Johnny with a napkin. "You're not going to hurl, are you?"
"No, I'm fine."
"God, I'm sorry, John. I can't seem to get anything right."
"Well, thanks for trying." He stood up and went to the sink. "I can salvage the fruit."
Behind them, they heard Ophelia walk into the room.
The boys turned to greet her, then stopped in their tracks.
Johnny made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a cough, but then quickly tried to cover his reaction.
"Umm, what happened to your hair?" Ripp asked.
"Oh, this? I just took out the braids." She laughed. "I'm going to redo them."
"Wow. I never realized you had so much hair," said Johnny.
"I know it's completely crazy," she said. "You don't have to pretend it isn't."
"It's just lovely," Ripp said. "Look at all those pretty curls!"
"You're beautiful," Johnny said.
"Enough with the flattery," she said, though she still smiled, and then went into the bathroom to get washed up.
Breakfast proceeded as normal.
"Want to watch a movie?" Johnny asked.
"Oooh, with popcorn?" Ripp asked.
"Yeah... but no butter, remember."
"Ahhh, come on!"
"I can't. Eat. It."
"Olive oil is okay by me," Ophelia said, "and you like it too, Ripp."
"Okay, FINE."
"I'll get the nutritional yeast," Johnny said, getting up from the table.
"Oh yeah... We're really livin' large today. Nutritional fucking yeast... nothing gets a party started like yeast."
"You LOVE nutritional yeast," Ophelia reminded him.
"God, don't ever tell anyone that. Please. Tank would laugh me into next week. If he ever actually laughed, that is."
"Don't be silly."
After a minute or two, Ophelia followed Johnny into the kitchen.
He was standing by the sink, carefully examining the glass of water in his hands. Ophelia walked over and wrapped her arms around him, and he shifted himself around to embrace her.
His lips found hers, and they soon forgot all about the popcorn.
Ripp noticed the delay, and the sounds coming from the other room.
He walked in, approaching them casually, but also cautiously. He placed his hands on Ophelia's shoulders and rubbed them over her skin.
Johnny observed him, but said nothing. He continued to kiss her as Ripp rubbed her back. It wasn't so strange, he figured, but he wondered how easily the borders would bleed together, and how close he was to making love to Ophelia with Ripp there too, rubbing her back.
With Ripp there too, doing much more than that.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little curious. He'd be lying if he said the idea didn't appeal to him on some level, especially if he were the one taking the leading role. With Ripp as his supporting teammate.
But he was also scared, so he pushed Ripp away. It was not a harsh push. There was no aggression in it. It was an "okay, that's enough" push, with a slight hint at the possibility that the decision was not completely final.
Ripp had never been so happy at a rejection before in his life.
Later that night, Ripp was taking a bath and getting ready for bed. Johnny and Ophelia had already gone upstairs.
He felt almost giddy, heading to bed with them. In the tent, they had the cold to blame, and then it was more the drinking than anything that first night in the cabin, but now it was more clearly a deliberate choice. What excuse could possibly be used this time? He couldn't think of one. Then again, Ripp couldn't think of a single reason not to either, so maybe he wasn't the best judge on the matter.
"So," Ripp began, as he ascended the stairs, "am I still on the left side, or do you-"
Clearly, they were too busy too answer.
They were only half dressed.
It was a scenario he had played out many times in his mind. Would any of his strategies for working himself into the mix actually work in real life? Should he try? Should he ask? Could he reach his hand into his pants and follow along from a distance?
They stopped and looked up at him.
"Ummm, shit. Sorry. I was just -"
"Watching us," Ophelia said. "You were watching us?"
"Not really. I'll just go and give you some privacy... just pretend I wasn't here."
"No wait-"
Ripp stopped in mid-turn. It had been Johnny's voice that had haulted him.
"You, umm, really don't mind?" Johnny asked.
"Not at all," Ripp said. "I mean, I sort of... like it, you know?"
"Like... leaving?"
"What?"
"Staying, Johnny," Ophelia said. "He means staying. He likes it. Understand?"
"Oh," he said, "right. Yeah, I knew that."
"I'll leave you alone," Ripp said, quickly and half under his breath, turning away again.
"Wait."
Ripp turned back. "Yes?"
Johnny didn't say anything.
"What do you want, John?"
"I don't know."
Ophelia sat up and picked herself up from the bed. "Maybe I'll just go make some hot chocolate or something."
"Wait - what?" Johnny turned back to her. "Don't go. We were -"
"Yes, we were, but well... maybe you should stay and talk with Ripp now."
"Talk?" Ripp asked
"What's to talk about?" Johnny added.
"Just talk." As Phi passed Ripp, she affectionately messed with his hair. She looked back at Johnny. "You need to talk."
Ripp stood, frozen, for a moment before he spoke. "Well... maybe I should come over and sit down?"
"Yeah, sure." Johnny adjusted himself, self-consciously.
Ripp plunked himself down, turned to Johnny and looked over at him. "Well?"
"Well," he said. "This is weird, huh?"
"Yeah."
"What are we doing?"
"I don't know."
"I mean, we're doing something, aren't we?"
"We could be."
"Yeah. I know."
Downstairs, Ophelia poured herself a glass of water. She didn't know what they would say to each other, and perhaps she would never find out. It didn't matter. That was their business. She may have a relationship with them both, but their connection to each other would always be their own, and separate from her.
It was funny, but for all the time the boys had spent being jealous of each other, competing for her attention, she was sometimes jealous of them too. They loved her dearly, but there was something in the bond between them that was even more than that. That was another reason she would hate to choose between them. If they were no longer together, she'd have to watch one of them wither away for lack of the other.
After what she assumed to be a reasonable amount of time, Ophelia went back up the stairs and returned to the room.
Nobody spoke, but it seemed to her as if some matter had been settled. She smiled at them and they smiled back, seemingly as one unit.
Ophelia climbed up and over the bed, finding her place in the middle.
Johnny turned and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, cupping her face in his hand. Ripp placed his hand on her hair, running his fingers over her braids. He leaned forward enough to breathe her in, then let his face move down to gently kiss her neck.
Johnny turned and flicked off the light.
Later, as he lay in bed, Johnny wondered if it could actually work. It all seemed to be going a little too easily. Something would go wrong. It was so close, and so comforting, but could this really be something that they could do? Could it last, and stay like that, or was it all just an illusion? A fantasy that they were playing out, momentarily? It was like they were playing house, and for now, it worked. It worked in theory.
But when they went home, back to reality, would it crumble and fade?
On the final morning, Ripp woke up early, quietly removed himself from the bed, and headed out onto the balcony. As he reached the door, he turned back to look at his friends.
After he stood on the balcony for quite some time, he heard the door slide open behind him and Johnny stepped out to join him.
"The mountain air must be really doing you a lot of good," Johnny said. "You've been up with the birds every day here."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Or maybe you're just changing. Maybe we're all changing. You know? It's... different here."
Ripp turned his head toward Johnny, just slightly. "Hey, I wanted to say thanks for thinking of all this, the trip and the cabin and everything, and for working it all out and stuff."
"Yeah, sure." Johnny shrugged, brushing it off. "It was nothing. You know, my pleasure."
"Also, thank you. For this. With you and Phi." He looked away, and added, "For letting me in, you know?" His voice seemed to break at the end, punctuated by his breath.
Johnny said nothing, knowing that Ripp wouldn't want to speak. He knew him well enough to know that he was trying to hold himself together, lest he get overwhelmed by emotion. Instead he placed his hands on Ripp's shoulders and started to rub them.
That calmed him, and soon he relaxed and was himself again. Johnny laughed at Ripp's exaggerated and audible pleasure, as if he had been simply dying for a backrub.
"You're faking it," he said.
"No, I'm not," Ripp declared. "You are a miracle worker, Mr. Smith. The best there is."
"Sure, sure. I bet you say that to everyone."
Ripp grew serious again. "You're a good friend, John. The best friend. You didn't have to."
"It's just a backrub."
"You know what I mean."
After a pause, Johnny continued. "I wonder if Phi is awake yet. We need to get ready for the shuttle."
"Knowing Phi, she's probably already packed her bags, and ours too, and she's just chillin' with a coffee downstairs by now."
"Yeah, probably."
"How about we go find out."
Johnny nodded. "After you, Mr. Grunt."
And so, they went home.
Days passed, and they tried to reconcile the events of their trip with their previous life.
Life went on, until everything was changed by a phone call.
"Mmmmyello?" Ripp said, as he answered it. "Oh, hey Tank. What's up?"
"What?! Ummm... really?"
"You're kidding me..."
"No. No, that's... fine. That's great. Sure! Yeah, I'd be up for that. Yeah... shit, Tank! Wow. Yeah, thanks for asking."
"What was that all about?" Ophelia asked.
"Oh, nothing," he said.
"Tank just wants to hang out with me."
There was a pause. She was just as shocked as he was.
"I... should probably do that," Ripp said, "as much as I'd love to stay here."
"It's okay," Ophelia said. "We're not going to just lie in bed all day anyway, right? I was going to go for coffee with someone this afternoon, anyway."
"Oh, really?" Ripp said. "Sneaking off with a mystery man, are you? Shit, woman. Are you never satisfied?"
"She's a woman."
"Nice. If you're trying to turn me on, you're doing a damn fine job."
She sighed. He was hopeless. "No really, Ripp. We're just going for coffee."
"That's what they all say. I know what coffee really means. I basically invented that front."
Ophelia gave up and shook her head. "Whatever you say."
"Just don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said, winking.
"That shouldn't be hard."
Ripp went into the city, and Ophelia went about her business on campus.
She met up with Bottom at the coffee shop later that evening.
At this same time, Johnny was at soccer practise. He was finishing up for the evening and heading home.
It was a lovely evening, so Bottom and Ophelia wandered out into the plaza.
"So you didn't find anything like them in Veronaville?"
"No, not exactly. And I went... pretty far afield."
Bottom had gone further than she was ready to admit.
She didn't dwell on this fact. Maybe later, she would tell Ophelia about it, but not for now. "As I suspected, those snapdragons seem to be an entirely new development."
"So you said that you had a visit from a scientist who had lectured at the college. Was that Vidcund Curious?"
Bottom smiled. "Yes, it was."
"That's Johnny's--my Johnny's--uncle, you know."
"Oh, really? How interesting." Bottom marveled at how small the world really was, and at the same time so vast and seemingly endless. "And you went away with him for break too, didn't you?"
"Yes, and Ripp too."
"Oh yes," she said, "your boys. You hardly mention one without the other."
Ophelia tossed her head back and gave a little laugh. "You've got me there, I guess. But well, if Johnny's there, Ripp isn't far behind."
"Ophelia," Bottom began, "I hope I'm not way off the mark here, but are you sleeping with him?"
"With Ripp?" She paused, taken aback at the question, and then realized that her face must have betrayed her. "How did you..."
"I didn't. It's just the way you looked when you said his name."
"Well... yes," she said. "We've slept together."
Bottom's eyes seemed to flicker with curiousity. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry."
Ophelia could tell that she wanted to. Bottom seemed more than a little interested. "It's okay."
"You know, my parents have always had an open relationship," Bottom said, "and other lovers besides each other. I don't mean to read into things, but if you were, say, involved with two men at once, it wouldn't shock me."
"No?" she asked. She looked off at some fireflies in the distance. "Well, then yes... there is something between the three of us now, and we're all aware of it, but I'm not completely sure what that means yet." She paused, uncertain, and then smiled. "You know, it feels good to finally tell that to someone."
"You know I'm simply dying to ask you about the sex, but you don't have to share if it's too forward of me."
"Oh, we haven't all... been together," she said. "Well, not like that. Not exactly." Was she blushing? It seemed likely. She couldn't believe what she was talking about so openly with Bottom.
"Do you think you will?"
She paused, considering. "I'm not sure."
"Your boys... they're friends, right, like you said. Are they very close to each other?"
"Yes." Ophelia said. "They're about as close as it gets."
Johnny entered the apartment just in time to hear the phone ring.
"Hello?"
"Johnny?"
"Mom? What is it?" She sounded different. "Is there something wrong?" As he asked the question, he knew the answer. He could hear it in her voice.
"Johnny... your father is dying."
Johnny felt like all the blood in his body had drained out of him. All the air in his lungs too. "What?" He could barely get the words out.
"He has - he has the virus. The virus that's... killing us."
"But how can that be? It's from a different planet. They've been so careful."
"It's here too, Johnny. Somehow, it's found it's way here."
He nearly let the receiver drop from his hands, but he held fast. He couldn't say anything more.
"Johnny? Are you still there? Johnny, honey, are you okay?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Look... just come home as soon as you can. I'll make sure everything is okay. I want to see you."
"Yeah," he said, "I want to see you too. And what about Jill?"
"She's already on her way."
After he hung up the phone, he stepped further into the room, then stood frozen, stunned. He wanted to scream or cry or something, anything, to epress how he felt, but nothing came out. He was trapped, just standing there.
He couldn't feel anything.
Ripp threw open the front door, and stormed into the room.
"Oh my fucking GOD, Johnny! I'm in real deep shit this time. You're never going to believe what just happened. Tank had this robot -"
He stopped mid-sentence when he saw the look of pure sorrow in Johnny's face. It was deep and real, and definite. "Johnny?"
Johnny didn't say anything. He didn't move.
"What is it?"
"It's my father," he said, "he's..."
"Oh, John." Ripp was already wrapped around him, holding tightly.
"He's dying."
"Oh god."
"I... I'm so..."
"It's okay. I'm here. I have you. Just let it all out."
And he did.
It all came out. He was bawling like a baby.
"Johnny, Johnny. Shhh... it's okay. That's good... Let it all out. I want all of it. Just let it all go... give it to me, okay?"
Ripp wanted Johnny's tears. He'd bathe himself in them. He had never seen Johnny cry in all the years he'd known him. Not once.
They felt like a gift.
He held him, and thought about the body grasped beneath his hands. The skin, muscles, and bones; all the parts that came together to make Johnny Smith. But Johnny was more than a collection of bones and flesh. He was much more. And his skin was green, but the blood running through his veins was red, just like Ripp’s.
They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to.
Ripp felt the dead weight of Johnny’s body. He was holding him up. After all the times Johnny had done the same, now it was Ripp’s turn.
That was love.
Love held you up.
Ophelia walked in through the door, and found them like that, with Ripp holding Johnny close, moving his hands over his back. She took pause, assessing the situation, and then realized that Johnny was crying. Ripp was comforting him.
Had she really expected something else?
She moved closer and wrapped her arms around Johnny, all the way to the other side, until they were secured between them both. She could feel the heat there, between them. She didn't speak. She'd ask the questions later.
Johnny relaxed. He felt enclosed, protected, for that moment in the coccoon of their bodies. It felt like home. He could stay there, couldn't he? He could stay there forever.
For a moment, it didn't seem impossible at all.
They held Johnny, together, and they also held him together. Without them, he felt like he would fall apart. When they let him go, he might. If they ever let him go...
They wouldn't let him go. Johnny knew this. If anyone let anyone go, it would be him.
He pushed that thought from his mind, but the seed had been planted. He had a lot to think about.
He let them lead him upstairs to the bedroom, as if he were unable to do so himself, and maybe he was. He felt tired. Too tired to think or do anything. He'd just sleep. They saw him into bed, and curled into him, one on each side.
They slept.
Morning came quickly, and Johnny was the first one up, just like most days.
There was a moment, just a short moment, before he remembered that this was not like most days.
Still heavy with grief, he pulled himself up out of bed.
He looked back down at them, calmly sleeping. They looked right, like they belonged together. He could leave, and they would go on, just like that.
They don't need me, he thought. He felt heartbroken, but also slightly relieved. He really could go, and they would be fine.
Shortly after, Ripp woke to find him gone, and silently panicked.
He raced around the apartment to find him.
He was standing on the balcony.
"Johnny?"
"Hi, Ripp."
"I thought...," Ripp choked back the tears of relief that threatened to betray his irrational panic. It was too early for this. "I thought you were gone." Johnny said nothing. "Are you alright? How do you feel?"
"I'm going home."
It pulled down on him like a weight; the idea that Johnny's home was somewhere else. Ripp's home was right there, and Johnny was very much a part of it.
"But... but what about the play?"
"You can take my place. They don't need me." Ripp didn't say anything. "My father needs me."
Ripp nodded in agreement. How could he argue with that?
"That's going to destroy your grades."
"I'll still pass." After a pause, he added, "It doesn't matter."
"When are you going to leave?"
"As soon as I can pack my bags and get ready."
"Johnny..."
"Yes?"
What could he say? That he couldn't bear to have him leave? That he wanted to go with him? Could he beg him not to go? Johnny had to go home to his family, but Ripp wanted that to include him. If Johnny was hurting, he wanted to be there. He wanted so much, so many things, but this wasn't about him, was it?
I want us to stay together. He almost said it. It was true. He did want them to stay together, the three of them. He needed Johnny to be there. Without him, it wasn't the same. Without Johnny, Ripp would have to be everything that Johnny was, and he wasn't. He'd have to be a stronger person than he was. What if he fucked it all up?
He wanted Johnny to be there. Without Johnny, Ripp would feel incomplete. How could he exist without Johnny?
Their Johnny.
His Johnny.
He almost said it, but instead, he said, "Nothing. I'm just... I'm so sorry, John."
Johnny placed his arm on Ripp's shoulder. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Ripp pulled him into a fierce hug.
"Take care of yourself." He held him as tightly as he could. "Please."
"I will," he said, "and you should too."
Please don't leave me.
It screamed through his mind, but he didn't say it.
It was the opening night of the play, and Ripp waited for his cue backstage.
Johnny had gone home, and in several more days, they would be leaving college forever. They would step out into the great unknown. Where would he even go? He had no desire to return to Strangetown, to the abandoned Grunt household. He couldn't go back to Johnny's house, because that had never been his home, even though he had wished it were so. There was the Specter mansion, and Ophelia, but did he really belong there either? He was suddenly very unsure about his place in all of that. Could he really be what she needed him to be?
Would he, alone, be good enough? Would it be enough?
"It would never be enough."
Maybe he should head in the opposite direction, away from Strangetown forever.
The curtain called. The time for hesitating was over. It was time for him to go on with it.
Ripp took a deep breath, and stepped out into the spotlight.
(Continue to Chapter 31.5)
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