Strangetown: Chapter Twenty-Five - part one

[strangetomato]

 

Warnings: language, sexual situations



Chapter Twenty-Five

Part One






"Your lunch is getting cold, P.T." Jenny stepped out onto the porch, where her husband was sitting.

"My appetite just isn't there, Jenny."

"You need to eat something."

"Okay. Give me a another minute, and then I'll come in."

Jenny knew what was bothering him. "Look, I know this hasn't been going the way we hoped it would, but that doesn't mean we should give up."




"They've both given me a pretty firm no."

"I know. Why aren't they seeing what we're trying to tell them? It's for their own good."

"Perhaps we should have set them up for this at a younger age."

"Yes, maybe..."

"But you wanted them to have a normal childhood."




He wasn't blaming her, but she understood his meaning. They had done things her way, postponing the inevitable, and trying to keep the dream alive. The dream of the perfect family, with the beautiful lawn, and the white picket fence. She had wanted that for them and she had convinced herself that they could have it, but sooner or later the bubble had to burst. And, clearly, it should have happened sooner.

"Yes, I wanted that, I know. Well, as normal as could be expected." Jenny frowned. "Maybe it was selfish of me, but would it have really made so much of a difference? It was never going to be an easy sell. They live here, in this world, and that's the way they know. It's unavoidable. And it's not like we would have forced them..."




"We shouldn't have to. That's just the way things work."

"Well, yes, but that's not the way it works here."




Jenny thought about her family. The Curiouses were doing this for the aliens, but they were also doing it for themselves. The aliens would live on in the new hybrid species, and so would the Curious family. No matter how bad things got, they had that hope.

The sim species might need to adapt to survive too. Her father always insisted that this might be so. People had considered Glarn Curious an eccentric, but he had always insisted that he was just ahead of his time. She hoped that he has been right about that. She also hoped that he had been wrong about a lot of things, but ultimately, she believed that he had known what he was talking about. He had been right about the aliens. If he was right about everything else, then they were doing the right thing.




They were putting themselves in danger with this plan. Those who distrusted the aliens were growing in numbers, and they couldn't help but feel that trouble was brewing.




Jenny wanted her children to be safe. She wanted them to be happy. It seemed like they would make choices that allowed them to be one, but maybe not the other. How could she tolerate them allowing themselves to fall into harm's way? If they were happy, was it a risk worth taking? Their happiness was very important to her.








She wanted what any mother wants.








To see her children grow up safe and happy.




She had been dreading her elder transition. She could barely conceive of the fact that she was growing so old. Time just slipped by, almost imperceptibly, and now Johnny was a man, and Jill had just left for college. He could remember holding them in her arms as infants. It seemed like it could have happened yesterday.




The had all been together for her transition, and that made it easier to bear. All of her children were under one roof. Everyone was happy, cheering her on. She had no choice but to grow old, so she made a wish, hoped for the best, and then blew out the candles.




After they had finished their cake, P.T. had taken Johnny aside.

"Johnny, I wish you would reconsider."

"I can't. I've told you already, Dad. I want to be with Ophelia. She's "the one". She's the one I want to be with."

"It's not the right thing for you, Johnny. Or for us. You have to consider the bigger picture."




"Dad, please. I've made up my mind." The old alien frowned. "Why can't you just accept my choice? I thought you liked Ophelia."

"I do. She's a very nice girl..."

"But..."

"But she's not like you."




"You married Mom, and she's not an alien, Dad."

"I know that, Johnny, but it's different. I did that to create you. I did it for the same reasons that you should marry another half alien, like yourself."

"But what about Mom? Why did she do it?"

"The same reasons. And other things too. Your mother has her reasons."

"So it wasn't actually about love, like I always assumed? How nice... and here I was, thinking it was some sort of touching example of love winning out over the differences between the two species."

"Johnny, of course it was about love. But love isn't always something you just find. It is something you have to grow."

Johnny sat on the porch and thought about everything his father had said. His thoughts were interrupted by a little girl.




"Why are you sitting out here all alone?"

"I don't know. I just want to, I guess."

"You're weird."

Johnny looked at her.




"No, I'm not. I'm not weird. And it's not nice to call people weird, okay, Jo?"

"Okay, Uncle Johnny."

"I'm not your uncle, I'm your brother."




"Really? But you're so OLD!"

"Yeah, well, it happens, okay? You're going to have to just trust me on this one."




Johnny was still thinking about all of this while he was sitting outside the Cactus Cafe, waiting to meet the new student that he had agreed to show around campus. As if he wasn't already busy enough, he had signed up to be part of the mentoring program that welcomed new students to La Fiesta Tech. He was so caught up in his thoughts, he barely noticed as she approached his table.




"Hi. Sorry I'm late. The lines at the student union were atrocious."

"Don't worry about it." He extended his hand, and she took it. "I'm Johnny Smith."

She sat herself down next to him.




"Yeah, they told me your name, and you're not exactly hard to spot. So I guess you're one of those half alien sims?"

"No, I just like to dye my skin because it looks cool." He said it kindly, and offered a green smile.




She quickly realized that he wasn't really a very intimidating guy, despite his strange looks.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I seem to have forgotten your name. I have a lot on my mind today."




"No problem. I totally understand. It's hard to keep up with all of the new names. I'm Lucy Burb."




"Well, it's nice to meet you, Lucy. That's an interesting accent you have."

"Really? I didn't know I had one. I would have said the same to you. Where are you from?"

"Strangetown."




"Oh." She wondered if she had made a face. "That's... interesting."

"No, it's not. Not really. It's hot and dry, and pretty much always the same." She'd heard otherwise, but she figured that someone who was as green as Johnny might not even blink at such odd happenings. He turned the conversation back to her. "So where are you from, Lucy?"

"Pleasantview."




"Like the soap opera?"

"Oh... that." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like the soap opera."

"My friend watches it every day. I think he may have even joined the fan club, even though he denies it. He loves those twins... what are their names..."

"Angela and Lilith."

"Right."




"They're my cousins, you know."

"Really? That's wild. Ripp would completely lose his shit if he were here."

"Maybe I can get him an autograph."




"So you're studying art? I know a girl in that program, and Ripp's brother will be taking art too, so I guess you'll meet him. Have you always been interested in art?"

"Yeah. I thought about literature too, but art won out. That's why I came to this campus."

"Literature, you say? Well, maybe I'll have to pick your brain a little, once we're finished our little tour. I'm trying to convert a novel into a script and it's really giving me grief."




"Yeah, one of my friends tried that once, in high school. It didn't work out." Johnny frowned, and she quickly continued. "Now, that doesn't mean that your's won't. I'll see if I can help you. I know what not to do, at least."




"Sounds like a plan." He started to get up from his chair. "Well, I'm ready when you are. Where do you want to go first?"

"I hear the bar is pretty cool."

"Alright. Just for a quick stop, though. We don't want to tour to get permanently stalled, now, do we?" She laughed, and they continued walking.




"My sister just started university too. I was just helping her to move some of her things into her new apartment."

"Ooh, an apartment? That's fancy. My parents wouldn't spring for it, even though they could easily afford it. Mom wanted to renovate the house instead."




"Yeah, well, we can just barely afford it. Jill is spoiled rotten."

"So she's green too?"

"Actually... no. She's not, oddly enough. She has green hair right now, though. Nearly gave our mother a heart attack too."




"Oh, then I've seen her! The hair is hard to miss. She seems pretty cool."

Johnny shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." That was never a word he would use to describe Jill. His bratty little sister was not cool. In his head, she was still an annoying little girl, complete with pigtails. He wondered what words Jill would use to describe him. Cool wasn't the first one that came to mind.

Across town, Buck was busy getting the apartment in order.




"I can't believe you even brought the fucking fish tank, Buck." Ripp was helping him to move some of his stuff, and they were setting up the tank. "Did you leave anything?"

"Not much." He shot his brother a smile. "And I couldn't very well leave them, could I? Who would feed them?"

"I'm sure the Smiths would have been happy to help."

"Okay, so I just wanted the fish with me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yup."

"I love the fish."

"They're good fish."




"Okay, let's get this straightened up against the wall before Jill gets here with her stuff."

"You're living with JILL?"

"Ripp, I did tell you that. A couple of times. You need to learn how to pay attention."

"Buck, Buck, Buck... you can't live with Jill! How the fuck are you supposed to get any if you're living with a girl?"

"Ummm..." Buck struggled to stifle a giggle, since the question seemed pretty ridiculous from where he was standing.




"That's like the worst cock block I've ever heard of."

"Well..."

"Chicks are going to think you have a girlfriend, and I guess that might make some of them want to fuck you even more, but -"

"She kinda is my girlfriend."

"What?"




"Jill is sort of like my girlfriend now."

"Sort of?"

"It's complicated."




Ripp could see that it might be, considering that he'd gotten in on a small piece of the Jill action too. Did Buck know that? Buck could see the gears turning in Ripp's head. His brother had the most readable face in the universe.

"Yeah, I know about that."

"Shit, Buck. I wouldn't have done it if I had known."

"No, that was before..."

"Oh." He was obviously very relieved. "Well, good for you, Buck." He smiled. "She's a nice girl."




"She is."

"Fucking hotter than hell too."

Buck smiled. "Yeah."




"Well, as much as I'd like to stick around and chat, I have to go and pick up my guitar from last night."

"How did that go?"

"The same as always. You know..." Buck could imagine it perfectly, since Ripp had shared plenty of stories with him. He imagined that some of them were probably embellished a little, but knowing Ripp, maybe not.

"Jill keeps saying that she wants to go check out a show."




The door flew open and Jill stepped inside.




"Oh." She paused, taken aback.




"Hi, Jill."




"Hi, Ripp."

Ripp quickly turned his attention back to his brother. "Well, I'll see you later, Buck. Try to stay out of trouble, okay?" He chuckled to himself at the how hypocritical the line was. He took another once-over at Jill, who had definitely continued on her trajectory of hotness. "Transition treated you well, I see."

She shrugged. "I guess so."

"I like your hair."

"Thanks."




She watched him leave.












"So, if you keep that in mind, you should be fine."

"Thanks, Lucy. That's very helpful."

A couple of students that Johnny didn't recognize approached their table.




"Hey, Lucy! It is Lucy, right? It's so hard to juggle all of these names..."

"Oh, hi, Bottom." Lucy was sure that she'd never forget Bottom's name. Who the hell named a kid Bottom, anyway?

"We were thinking of ordering some pizza, me and Hal, and we wanted to see if you'd join us?"

"Sure." Lucy turned to Johnny.




"That's okay, you go right ahead. I've kept you here long enough. I'll just stay and pick away at this. As usual." She nodded, then turned back to her new friends.

"Oh, this is Johnny, by the way. He was just giving me a tour of the campus."




"Pleased to meet you, Johnny." Bottom smiled.




"Hi, Bottom." Johnny nodded to her, and then to her friend. "Hal."

"Hello, Johnny."

"You must be from Veronaville, am I right?" Johnny said.

"It's the bloody accent, isn't it?" Bottom said. "It makes me feel like I'm from outer space or something... no offense."




"None taken. I'm not actually from outer space."

"You could have fooled me," Hal said.

Johnny shrugged, and saw them off. As they were leaving, Jayne Doe noticed him from across the room, and headed towards him.




"Johnny Smith!"

"Oh... hi, Jayne."




"Don't sound so excited, Johnny."

"Sorry. I'm just a bit out of it." He indicated his notebook. "I'm working on the script again."




"You're still working on that? Wow. That's dedication. Well, you shouldn't mind if I kidnap you for a little while. For a break" She smiled, expectantly.

"Well, actually..."




"Oh, come on, Johnny! We never get to talk anymore."

"Well, I think you know why..."

"So Ophelia doesn't let you have friends? Come on! I just want to chat with you."




"Okay, but just for a little while. I really should be getting home soon."

"I won't keep you too long."

"Yeah, okay." He got to his feet and they left the library together.






The apartment was empty when Ophelia arrived to meet up with the boys. They were supposed to get groceries together, but there was no sign of Johnny or Ripp, except for the note on the counter. It was Johnny's note, she could tell immediately. The tiny, tightly-formed handwriting gave him away. In perfectly neat lines, it read:

I'll be late. I have to finish up some work on the script. Go ahead without me. I'm sorry.

love,
Johnny




So that was Johnny, but where was Ripp? She remembered that Ripp had played at the Wasteland Lounge the previous night, so he could have dropped by there to pick up his equipment. If he ran into Jaxy or Zoe, he might have stopped to get a drink with them, and then lost track of the time. That sounded like something Ripp would do.

She decided to head over there to see. They desperately needed those groceries, and it was going to be a huge task. The only thing in the fridge at that moment was empty space.






She didn't see Ripp when she entered the bar, so she asked the bartender about him.




"Yeah, he was here. Maybe he went upstairs."




That's where she found him, giggling like a fool at the bubble blower. She frowned.




"Phi!" He jumped to his feet when he saw her, stumbling a little. He was grinning from ear to ear. "Hi!"




Then he realized that she wasn't happy to see him. "Oh shit. I was supposed to - shit. Fuck. I'm sorry, Phi."

"Don't you have any self control, Ripp?"




His bubble blowing partners laughed at him, and one of them made a snide comment at his expense: "Who's that? Your wife or your mom?" They all started to crack up, but he ignored them. His attention was only on Ophelia.

"I'm sorry. I said I was sorry."




"You can't just do these things over and over again and then just expect to apologize it away, Ripp." She frowned, and he felt his heart sink. He had never intended to upset her. "This is so frustrating. Johnny's busy, and you're just a mess. We were supposed to get the groceries."




"I can still do it."

"In this state?"

"I'm not that bad." She rolled her eyes, since his were very red.

"This is hopeless. We need to get a lot of things."




"I'm so sorry, Phi. I'll go do it all by myself, if you want."

"No. We can both do it."




She sighed and looked down at the bubble blower. "So what's so great about that stuff, anyway? That makes you prefer it to doing the things that you're supposed to do?"

"I don't know. It's just nice... it's fun. You can just forget about everything."

"Obviously."




"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I don't prefer it to being with you... not at all. I'd much rather be with you." They said nothing for a minute.




"Can I try it?"

"What?"

"I want to try it. To see what all the fuss is about."




"Really? Err, I don't know, Phi..."

"I'm not a child, Ripp."

"Well, no, but... well, okay. If you really want to, then be my guest."




So she did.




Ophelia coughed violently after the first puff, but soon got the hang of it, and looked like she’d been blowing bubbles all her life.




"Too bad Johnny isn't here. He's missing out on a good time."

"Johnny'd never do this," Ripp said.

She laughed. "No. He'd lecture me, and tell you what a baaaaad influence you are."




"Ooooh. Are we going to get in trouble?" Ripp mockingly looked over his shoulder for an imaginary Johnny.

"Screw Johnny."

Ripp fell back to the floor with laughter. "What did you say?"




"Screw him."




"Well, maybe I would, if he ever put out!"

"You're terrible!" She laughed so hard, that she ended up snorting like a pig.

"Careful, Phi. You're shooting snot all over me."

"Oh, shit! I am? I'm sorry."




"It's okay. I needed a shower anyway." He ran his hands over his face as if he was rubbing it in and washing his face with it.

"You're soooo gross!"

"You love it."








"I can't believe you've never been up here before," Jayne said.

"I didn't even know it existed. I mean, I've seen it, but I didn't really know if there was anything to it."

"Yeah, it's an observation tower. They have a really great telescope up there. And you can see the whole campus. It's such a great view. You're going to love it."

They climbed the stairs to the top of the tower.




"Have you ever worked one of these?"

"Yes, of course I have."

"Well, I don't know... you might not have."

"My uncles have like two or three of them, just like this."

"Wow. That's a bit excessive."

"They're a bit excessive... in some ways, anyway." He thought about his uncles. "In other ways, they're really not."




Jayne placed her hand on the telescope. "My father has one of these too. He really likes to look up at the stars. He finds it inspiring."

"I can see that."

"He's a still little shaken up by the latest pregnancy, though."

"Yeah, that's so crazy. When is he due?"

"Pretty soon."

"So, that's not really normal, right? That abduction? That's what Stella said..."




"Yeah, she said that some of the pollinators are getting a little desperate. There seems to have been some disagreement about their strategy, and some of the P.T.s have decided to just go off and do things their own way. There are some rumours... some bad things are happening. This is serious stuff, you know, Johnny."

"Yes, I've been told."

"Well, are you listening? Does it mean anything to you?" Her eyes shifted, and she grew more serious. "It means something to me, and I wasn't even raised by an alien father, like you were." Johnny was quiet, and Jayne could see that he clearly wasn't going to entertain a lecture from her. She looked back at the telescope. "Well, since we're here, we may as well wait a couple of minutes, and take a look, don't you think? It's nearly dark."

"Yeah, I suppose we should." Johnny turned and wandered across the platform.






"They're going to wonder where I am." He looked across campus to his apartment in the distance.

"This won't take very long, Johnny. It'll be dark in a minute. You can go home right after we have a little look. It won't be that late."

"I wonder if they got the groceries..."




"Oh my god! I can't move my legs. They're like jelly. Oh my god, Ripp. I can't move. What am I going to do?"

"I'll carry you home."




"You can't do that. I'm too heavy."




"Oh yeah? Just watch me."






So he did.

He picked her up and headed for their apartment, sticking to the sidewalk in an attempt to avoid slipping, even though he could save himself some distance by crossing over the sand. He didn't want to drop her, and it was talking his full concentration, and every ounce of his strength, to carry her at all.

Ophelia felt like she was flying through the air. She was being carried like a little child who was too tired to walk by herself. In fact, the last person to ever carry her like that had been her father. For a minute she let herself drift into the past, where she was young, and carefree, and completely safe. Then she looked down, and the ground seemed so far away, and Ripp seemed to be quite shaky on his feet.




"Don't drop me, Ripp. You're going to drop me."

"No, I won't, Phi. I promise. I'm not going to drop you."

"Don't do it if it's too hard. I'm too heavy."




"I can do it, okay?" He struggled to keep her held up. "Nobody ever has any faith in me."

"I do have faith in you, Ripp, but it's too hard. You're going to hurt yourself. I can hear you panting... and grunting."

"Grunting, huh? That's what us Grunts do best." They both started to giggle.








"Fuck."

The laughter had thrown him off, and they both tumbled to the ground. He managed to flip himself around so he would take the brunt of the fall, so she landed gently onto her back beside him, in an impossibly graceful motion.

"Wheeeee." She laughed as they went down. "I told you..."






"Sorry, Phi." He clumsily scrambled back to his feet, to inspect for damage. He picked a couple of tiny rocks from his elbows, but that seemed to be the worst of it. "That wasn't my fault, though. You made me laugh."




Ophelia said nothing. She just lay there, with the world spinning around her. Ripp looked down at her, so serene and beautiful, and he smiled. He thought about how nice it would be to just lower himself on top of her and let nature take its course. Just pure, raw instinct, there in the sand. How dirty and frantic and delicious it would be. How tender. He didn't hesitate to pick her up again.




Once they were safely home, Ripp helped Ophelia to climb into her bed. The bubble blowing had really knocked her out. It was always like that the first time you did it.

She smiled. "Thanks for helping me." She had completely forgotten about the whole thing with the groceries. In fact, they had both completely forgotten about getting the groceries at all.




He was going to say something, but she had already fallen asleep. He turned off the lights and began to leave the room, then went back and observed her, as she slept peacefully. Her face had relaxed into a calm smile. Her lips were like two soft pillows. She looked so beautiful that Ripp felt like he might weep. It was almost unfair that she was so perfect.




He leaned in towards her face. He could do it, so easily. He could just touch her lips, to see how it felt. Nobody was watching him. Nobody would ever have to know. He moved his face closer, and hovered over her lips, until he could feel her breath.




Then he kissed her cheek instead.




One day, maybe, he would kiss her, but she should know about it. He wanted her to be fully aware of how he felt, and to have her kiss him back. He wanted to look into her eyes. Would he ever be able to do that? It was her decision to make. He hoped that somehow, despite Johnny and everything else, she would find her way to him. He'd be waiting.




"Sweet dreams, Phi."








Then he went downstairs and ate a whole bag of chips. It was the last piece of food in the apartment, and he ate it as if someone was threatening to take it from him at any second.




"That's the last of the light. So, Johnny. Are we going to do this or not?" "Yeah, sure."




"You know which one is our planet right?"

Johnny felt a little chill go up his spine when she said it. Our planet. He thought that his planet was the one he was standing on, not some tiny dot out there in space. "Yeah, of course I do. Let's see if we can find it."

"You're aiming it in the wrong direction."

"No, I'm not."

"Okay, wise guy. Well, we'll see how long it takes you that way..."

He continued to adjust the telescope, until he was stopped in his tracks. He was being engulfed in a bright light.






"What the... Jayne, is this what I think it is?" He was surprisingly calm.

"Yes, Johnny. It is. What else could it be?"

"They're going to abduct ME?"

"Yes."




"WHAT? Why? They can't do that! Why would they do that?!"

"Johnny, please just stay calm. Struggling isn't going to help you. Just calm down."

"Calm down?! CALM DOWN?! How can I calm down?! I don't want to be abducted! They CAN'T abduct me! YOU! You bitch! How can you just stand there? You have to help me! HELP ME! Make it STOP!"

"It's the only way..."




Johnny's screaming became more and more incoherent. Jayne stepped away from the telescope and looked out over the platform.




Behind her, he continued to scream. She addressed him, though it was obvious that he wouldn't hear her.

"I'm sorry, Johnny."








Johnny watched the earth as it fell out from under him. His helplessness enraged him, but he had screamed himself out, so he quietly accepted his fate.




Jayne stepped out of the lowest level of the tower. "So, he's gone."

"Yes, I saw the light," Stella said.

"Poor Johnny. Do you think we went too far?"




"No, I do not. And we don't have the luxury of regret. He has to be convinced."

"I hope it doesn't backfire."

"It won't. He'll be upset, but they will talk to him, and make him understand. He has to see it our way. He's the son of P.T. No. 9. How could he even consider turning his back on our mission?"




"He's in love with her."

"Another luxury that we do not have."

Jayne turned and looked at her, with an expression of deep sadness. Stella noticed it, but remained stoic, and turned away again.

"John Smith needs to realize that, as one of us, his destiny is chosen for him. He's obligated to pass those genetics down to his hybrid children. He's a breeder. That's his role in our society."










"If Johnny doesn't want to accept his true nature, he's denying a part of himself."



 

 

"And if he doesn't accept his role in our mission, he's dooming us to failure. We all do our part. If one fails, we all fail."
















'"Ripp? Can you hear me? Wake up..."




He opened his eyes to find her standing by his bed. “Phi? What's wrong?” He recognized the look on her face. He had first seen it on that night, back when they were teens, when she called him to the Specter estate.

“I had a bad dream,” she said, hesitantly. “I…”




She didn’t have to explain. “It’s okay, Phi.” He reached out for her and pulled her close. “Come here.”




Just as she had promised, she had come to him in her moment of darkness. She was there, in his arms, and he could comfort her. Again, he was reminded of that night at the Specter estate. That same question returned.




“Where’s Johnny?”

“I don’t know.”

They continued to stand there, in silence, just holding each other. Minutes passed.




Ripp didn't want to release Ophelia from his grasp, but how long was too long? At what point would his feelings be obvious? He wanted to just stay that way. He wanted to kiss her, and let her know just how much she meant to him. It didn't have to be more than that. Just a kiss. He could stop himself. He knew that she was Johnny's girl, but surely one kiss wouldn't hurt. A kiss between friends. No. He couldn't let himself do that. It wasn't a good idea. He wouldn't be the one to do it. But it was all he really wanted. The only thing in the whole world that he truly desired.




"Phi?" He murmured in her ear, then pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Yes, Ripp?"

"I want to kiss you." He was surprise at how easily the words came out, and how honest and direct they were.

"You do?"

"I'm sorry. I just -"




She answered him with her lips, covering his delicately, and he eagerly returned the gesture. It was like taking a large gasp of air after resurfacing from under a great depth of water. Relief washed over him, as years of longing finally found release. Ophelia kissed him with as much care and thought as she put into everything, but there was nothing tentative about it. She kissed him deeply, without reservation. She wanted to explore him and know him, to taste him and feel him, and Ripp would never refuse her. If she wanted it, he would give it to her. He'd give her anything he had to give.




He held her tightly, as he slowly, carefully, explored her mouth. It was just a kiss. Just an extension of that hug. A way to comfort her, reassure her, and let her know how he felt about her. He wouldn't let anything harm her, or frighten her, or make her sad. He never would. He'd never leave her. It seemed like a kiss was the only way to really let her know. She might be Johnny's girl, but, right or wrong, she was his girl, too.




Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't, but I can't help it."

"It's okay."

"I'm not going to..."

"I know." She knew that Ripp would never push for something if she didn't make the first move. He'd obviously held back this long. He had more willpower than they gave him credit for.

"I really care about you, Phi."

"I know. I care about you, too."




She knew that it was probably wrong, and that it would hurt Johnny. Johnny wouldn't see it as anything but a betrayal, but it wasn't just that. She loved Johnny, and she wanted to be with him. She didn't want that to change. She didn't want to do anything to hurt him. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She loved Johnny, but she felt something for Ripp, too. Was it possible to love them both?




"We shouldn't do this," she said.

"I know. We don't have to. We won't." Again, he added, "I'm sorry."

"It happened. There's nothing we can do about it now."

"I tried not to."

"So did I."

He wanted to kiss her again. To comfort her, and reassure her, about the first kiss. It didn't make any sense. "I've wanted to kiss you for a long time."




She reached up and brushed back his hair, tucking it behind his ear, but said nothing. The silence propelled him to keep talking.

"Obviously, with you and Johnny being together, I didn't want to do anything to fuck that up, but I guess I always do that eventually, given enough time. I don't want to ruin things for you. I care about you. Both of you." He swallowed, thinking it over. "But I can't help the way I feel."




"You are so beautiful."




"So beautiful..." He kissed her again, to emphasize the point.




"Ripp?"

"Yes, Phi?"

"Will you sleep with me?"

"What?"

"Not like that. Just sleep. In my bed. With me."

"I don't know..."




"I won't be able to get back to sleep now. Not alone."

"What about Johnny?"

"Johnny isn't here."




Ripp just stood there, frozen. Could he really do that? Could he sleep with Ophelia without actually sleeping with her? There was no doubt that he wanted to, but faced with it, he felt paralyzed.

"You told me to come to you when I needed someone," she continued.

"Yes. I meant it."

"Then, please..."




She took his hand. "I need you right now."

"Okay."




He followed her into her bedroom. It felt like he was walking into a dream. It wasn't quite real.




He was nervous, but he could be out of there before Johnny came home. He'd just wait until Ophelia fell asleep, and then he'd go back to his own room.




They pulled back the covers and slipped under the sheets. Ripp thought that staying away from Ophelia, on his own side, would be the safest thing to do. He shouldn't tempt himself further. He could resist her. He had to.




He didn't want to press his luck, but lying there, next to her, he was compelled to get closer. That's all he really wanted. To be close to Ophelia.




He reached out for her, instinctively. He wrapped his arms around her body, and pulled himself closer. Her hand found his, and she nudged herself back into the nook of his body. Was that what she had wanted all along? She wanted to be close to him too. As he curled into her, he felt consumed by love for Ophelia. He was on fire, yet he wanted to burn more. If he could have pulled her directly into his body, he would have.




Ophelia felt him relax into her, and he let out a deep sigh. He was content. She knew that he had wanted this, and it was good for him. He wanted someone to love him. Ripp needed to be loved, and she needed him too. He wasn't just a replacement for Johnny. He was different. He understood her in ways that Johnny did not, and his love for her might be different, but it was just as sincere. She knew it wasn't safe to feel that way, but she wanted to be with him too.

She also wondered what it would be like to have his skillful hands moving over her, and to feel the weight of his body. To yield to him. She shouldn't even think about that, with him so close to her. It would be so easy to invite Ripp's touch, and if she initiated it, she had no doubt that he would give her exactly what she wanted. Instead, she focused on the feeling of his arms around her, the heat that his body gave off, the sound of his breath, and the way he smelled. She could hear his heart beating. She could feel it too.




Ripp held Ophelia close, and quickly forgot his plan to leave for his own room. Removing himself from the warmth of her body seemed like a cruel punishment, and he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to prolong that feeling for as long as he could, so he stayed. He held her, just like that, until they both fell asleep.




Neither of them had any nightmares that night.








 

Comments

[ndainye.livejournal.com]

Wonderful update as usual :)

Bit of an awkward moment there for Ripp and Jill. But it didn't seem to bother Buck one bit, which makes me wonder if Buck really knows all or only knows what was said during his and Jill's true confessions moment. But between Buck and Johnny, Ripps pretty much blocked from taking advantage of Jill's crush on him.

When I saw Bottom with Hal I thought he was Alexander Goth even though you'd said previously that Alex wasn't going to be going to LFT. I've never grown Hal up so I didn't know he would look that much like Alex grown up. Hal's got the gangster look going for him a bit, it's cute :)

Add another one that was a bit surprised by Jayne's actions. I actually wouldn't have thought of Stella being that ruthless either. But then maybe Johnny's not going for a probing, just a 'discussion'.

I'm not really sure what I think about Ripp and Phi. Personality wise, I don't think they'd be all that great a match. I think Phi would be setting herself up to be hurt. Long term friendship with occasional benefits maybe but long term commitment? I don't really see that from Ripp. But I'm not a huge fan of Phi with Johnny either, she and Johnny each need someone that's going to shake them up on occasion; but I don't think Ripps the best option to be doing the shaking.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Buck does know about Jill and Ripp - both the long-term crush and the kiss on the balcony (though I didn't "show" that conversation). I'm sure that it did bother him, at first, but he's had time to deal with it, and Buck is just the type to accept that sort of thing. What reason does he have to hold that against Ripp? You're right about Ripp being unlikely to go after Jill, given the situation. Knowing that Buck is dating her is enough to keep him away, but he also doesn't want to upset Johnny again (though, then he goes and kisses Ophelia, despite this plan).

I have never seen Alexander Goth as an adult. Do they look similar? I think the whole Veronaville thing has a sort of gangster/mafia vibe to it, so it's fun to play around with that for Hal.

The aliens have their reasons for being desperate. They feel that Johnny's cooperation is essential, so they are willing to make a bold move like that.

It's interesting to see your thoughts about Ripp and Ophelia being a bad match, even though I don't agree with you. I think that Ripp and Phi's personalities are quite different, but not incompatible. They have a nice rapport between them, or at least I try to convey that, and they do care deeply for each other. They make each other smile. That's enough to make them a good match in my books. As for Ripp's issues with commitment, that could definitely be a problem, but I think that it's something he'd be willing to put some effort into, for the right person. Again, these are things that I've been trying to convey in the story, so I hope that it comes across.

I'm curious to know why you don't think that Ripp is the best option for being the one to shake Johnny and Ophelia up. I agree with you that they probably do need a wild card element in their life (though they could also work perfectly fine on their own, I think, as long as they communicate with each other - they might be a little serious, but they'd be fine), and I think that Ripp fills that role quite well as a friend. Right now he might be shaking things up a bit too much at times, but that comes with the difficult situation in his life. At his best, he brings a lot of fun to the equation.

[ndainye.livejournal.com]

Bo and Alex as adults

The Ripp - Phi thing is more a long term issue for me. Sure he would love to believe that the right person would be able to help him change but he seems to only be willing to change while in the presence of those that wants to impress in certain ways.(?) I'm not sure if that sounds right. He could be happy with her as long as she was with him, and he might be able to convince himself for awhile that what she doesn't know - or what his drug and alcohol induced haze wouldn't allow him to remember won't hurt either of them. I just see it leading to short term happiness and long term guilt and suffering.

As far as the shake em up thing goes, that was more a reflection of my doubt of Ripp and Phi in a more serious relationship than as a friend to both Johnny and Phi. As a friend he provides the shaking that they need. There's going to be some kind of tearing in the relationship of the three musketeers at some point. From which direction it comes we as readers don't yet know. I think it will be coming to a head fairly soon though.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Oh, they're cute. Is that Bottom?

I don't think you're giving Ripp enough credit as a character. He has never cheated on anyone, so you can't say that he'd definitely do that, can you? He's very loyal to his friends and family. Take his reaction to Buck's relationship with Jill, for example. He wouldn't do anything to hurt his brother, even though he does find Jill attractive, so why wouldn't that also apply to a relationship if he were in one? He's never been in a relationship, so we really don't know how he'd react until we see him in that situation.

I'm not saying that temptation won't be a problem for Ripp, since I fully believe that it could be. Of course, he'd have to be in an exclusive relationship with Ophelia for that to even apply, and he'd have to feel the need to go elsewhere, and maybe he wouldn't (he's definitely had more than enough time to sow his wild oats, anyway). If he found himself as part of a family, he might be inclined to try to keep that family stable at all costs, given his history. It might be a struggle for Ripp, but it also might not be, if he was given an opportunity to be happy. That's how I see it.

I also don't know that Ripp has ever really tried to impress anyone, like you said, because don't you think he'd be doing a much better job if he was? *snicker* Unless you're referring to the military questioning, and that was for Johnny's sake, and not his own.

You're completely right about it coming to a head soon. It will happen in the next update.

[ndainye.livejournal.com]

Yes that's Bottom with husband Alexander Goth.

Impress wasn't the best word, snow might be. He'll play along and allow Buck to believe that he has a happy family. He'll clean up his language for Jenny. He'll eat Sushi for Jayne and Stella (and conversely Johnny).

I don't believe that he would want to hurt Ophelia. But then again he wouldn't want to hurt Johnny either and yet if Johnny knew what was going on he'd be hurt and Ripp knows that.

Ripp seems to see Ophelia as some sort of holy grail "I would be a better person, I would like myself more, I wouldn't need drugs, life would be wonderful . . . if Ophelia was mine." He knows he needs to change his lifestyle but he should be doing it for himself not because he believes that Ophelia would want him to change.

I'm just not a shipper :) I'm sure that you can write it in a way that will make me believe.

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

The Jenny example is a really good one, because it gives a little insight into why Ripp does those things. He craves attention and approval, especially from a motherly source. That leads us back to Ophelia, his holy grail.

Ophelia, and also Johnny, have taken on that place of importance in his life. Ripp looks to them for support, and he relies on his friends a little too much, to the point of him being quite dependent on them in many ways. One of the things that Ripp will have to learn is that he needs to be responsible for himself (as he is used to blaming his problems on others, like his father). It's good to have a support system, but he can't expect his friends to fix things if he insists on having his life spiral out of control, as he sometimes does.

Do people really change for themselves all that often? I'm asking myself that as much as I'm asking you. It seems like something that that self-help manuals tell you, but in my experience, we usually put the effort in for the sake of others more often than ourselves. Especially where bad habits are concerned. Nobody will change unless they really want to do it for themselves, but they often need a reason to change, and that reason often involves someone else.

Ripp does have somewhat unreasonable expectations for how perfect things would be if only he had Ophelia to love him, but having that love might be a reason for him to get his shit together. He sees that he could be happy, and he wants to make her happy too. It's not all completely selfish, and being concerned for Ophelia's wellbeing is something that makes Ripp feel like he has some purpose in life (which, again, would compel him to be a better person). And once he realizes that it's not a quick fix for all of his problems, the real effort can begin.

I'm not going to try to convince you, if you just don't feel it, but I think there are a lot of reasons why they would be good for each other. It's not a perfect thing, but few relationships ever are.

Of course, this only matters if Ripp ends up with Ophelia, and that hasn't happened yet.