It's a mistake of judgement for both P.T. and Jenny, but they have to be forgiven for looking at it with alien eyes (among other things). P.T. expects them to understand and accept it at that age, since they're dealing with potentially desperate times. He doesn't want to frighten them, but maybe they really need to be convinced. The Smiths are trying to balance two extremely different cultures, and they're not really doing a great job. The task might be next to impossible, anyway.

I agree with you. I think that Tank's anger was completely justified, with the way Frances handled it. It's still sad for Frances, but Tank didn't really go too far. He could have been worse.