A whole lot of isms, but mostly heterosexism.

[strangetomato]

Given that this Sunday, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia, it's interesting that I was recently called out for being heterosexist. To my face, by a lesbian. I was pretty embarrassed. (Not that it would be any better to have this pointed out in another way, but I felt pretty careless.)



I had designed a quick little poster for a community Seniors Appreciation Day event, and all of the clip art used on it (yeah, go ahead and laugh at the clip art, but my job isn't as a designer - there's no time or money to make it nicer) featured elderly male/female couples.

In my defense, I was lucky to find anything that showed seniors being happy and doing anything besides sitting on a couch at home (no joke - many of them actually featured graveyards). We wanted dancing and eating and having fun AND elderly people, and I barely found that. There's literally nothing that tackles ageism AND heterosexism. It seems like you can only tackle one of these issues at a time (though there was a little racial diversity in there, I'll give them that much).

It's amazing how easy it is to be heterosexist. Unlike homophobia, you do it by default, by doing nothing. I like to think I'm pretty good about this stuff, because I actually think about it most of the time and even point it out to other people when they say something that assumes the world to be straight (you get mixed results when you suggest that someone's baby might actually grow up to be gay, let me warn you, true though it may be). So if I can do it by accident, then you can too. If you're constantly vigilant about it, then I salute you, but it can be tough to get it right all the time.

To relate this back to sims, it's got me to thinking about portrayals of LGBT characters in sim stories, just like any other media. I've read some interesting articles and posts on this topic recently (relating to different fandoms, but same difference), and it really is worth considering. I try to write about characters first and foremost, and so they have flaws and make bad decisions and all that, but I do try to be conscious of the messages my stories are sending, whether intended or not.

As for homophobia, I did make a very conscious decision to include that in my sim world, as much as I love the idea of a world without it. My sim world simulates the world I live in, and that includes most of its problems too. Also, there's no way to examine something if you ignore its existence, and I'm very interested in exploring gender/sexuality in my characters. It's something of a theme in my story, I suppose, if you want to put that much weight on it (which is probably a bit of a stretch).

So how do you feel about this as a creator or reader of sim stories? Feel free to discuss it in the comments, if you like.

Also, go ahead and critique the way I do things in relation to this topic, if you want to, so I can further consider and examine them. I know I could always fall back on "it's just a sim story," but I don't actually believe that excuses me in any way. I'm putting content out into the world, so I'm engaging in the way things are portrayed, even though it's a small and very specialized audience.



 

Comments

[aledstrange.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how easy it is to be heterosexist. Unlike homophobia, you do it by default, by doing nothing.
The problem is when you (general you) get accused, directly or by insinuations, of being discriminatory/homophobic, by someone who doesn't know you, for doing nothing, as not being constantly mentioning it.

For example I live in Miami, and there's a huge LGBT movement here specially in some areas (not so much in other parts of fl tho). I have lots of gay/lesbians friends and so does almost everyone I know. Same I see with my daughter and her friends, who are in high school, where they have a strong lgbt acceptance in general too.

Of course there is always close minded people between adults and bullying between teens, but in general for us its a pretty normal matter, so on that sense, mentioning it too much may sound slightly discriminatory too. (and I mean, mentioning, as in it pointing it out for being a difference, not as in normally talking about the topic)

As for sim stories, guess what each one lives and sees in RL influences the way of writing and personal take on the characters. I personally enjoy a bit more of fantasy and surrealism on a sim story (and all stories in general, for that matter), but for me for example, a high number of same sex couple on a game isn't that unrealistic either (I just have to go to the beach to actually see high numbers of same sex couple in RL anyways).

[strange-tomato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm speaking more about heterosexism than homophobia there. I can be heterosexist be simply not including any reference to LGBT in something, and thus rendering them invisible. Or saying something that portrays heterosexuality to be the default. I don't see anything wrong with someone objecting to it. It was totally in her right to point out that I was negating her existence by not including her, I think. It's just not always easy to keep on top of those things.

I see what you mean about it being a non-issue for you if it's a part of your everyday life, but I assume you don't go around and never mention it, right? That's the difference. It obviously comes up on it's own in casual reference, like mentioning someone's boyfriend, etc. That's different than the example of the poster, I think.

And yeah, mentioning it too much. I'm not sure about that side of it, but I suppose it could make people uncomfortable to make a big deal of it, but to me it's like feminism in that people feel the need to make a big deal about it until is actually a non-issue, and we're not quite there yet (society as a whole).

I don't see anything wrong with people choosing to populate their sim world however they want either. It's a great way to explore those things for themselves and to make it reflect their reality or a reality they would like to see.

I do feel a little uncomfortable about the tone of some of the portrayals of gay sims in legacies and stories at times (more legacies than stories), I must admit. I'm wary of insensitive portrayals, where it's obviously a novelty and the butt of a joke (I'm not too fond of the whole "lol buttsex" thing, for example). I'm not saying there's no room for humour here, but some of it does feel disrespectful to me (and that's a personal reaction).

[aledstrange.livejournal.com]

I'm speaking more about heterosexism than homophobia there
So am I, but let me rephrase then ?
The problem is when heterosexism, as in generalizing that everyone is straight, is automatically called out as an homophobic take. Some time generalizations are just 'that', and not bad indented, but can be taken wrongly very easily. (plus I'm sure, you could put a same sex couple on an adv/poster like that, and someone else will come out and criticize anyways, because the same sex couple is present. It's a delicate topic, unfortunately, people get offended one way or another)

And no, I didn't say I never mention it, just that I don't tend to consider a special kind of difference that needs to be constantly pointed out. I mean, for example, you say :"you get mixed results when you suggest that someone's baby might actually grow up to be gay" TRUE! Of course you do, but IMO you get mixed results if you suggest someone's baby might actually grow up to be all sorts of things (gay, straight, republican, democrat, theist, atheist, Jew, catholic, artist, scientist, you name it) depending on who are you referring to and/or talking with.

But yeah, I might just be missing the point of your discussion, sorry about that.

As for the way gay sims, generally speaking, are portrayed in stories and legacies, I guess again depends a bit on the point of view.

I've been hearing buttsex jokes way before reading sim stories, and learned the term from a gay friend actually, but yeah, I can agree with you about it in part, BUT the same can be said for heterosexuality and generally many other topics. Sim stories tend to be a bit biased IMO (traditional family= man/woman couple, husband cheating, 4 perfect kids) but again, you see the same in many other aspect of life too (books, tv, movies, etc).

I think you manage to find a good balance on that sense, btw, a bit of light humor, without being too over the top.